Top 10 Business Tips I Learned From a Stripper

I went to Las Vegas last weekend with some girlfriends. Of course, we had to take the Stripper 101 course at Planet Hollywood before we went to see Holly Madison in Peepshow. Of course we did.

While we thought we’d be getting some dance instruction and pole maneuvering advice, we got more — an education in how to separate club patrons from their cash. Turns out the stripping business is not so different than any other. I walked away from the class not only with bruised shins, but also these excellent tips, applicable to any business:

10. Always get paid up front.

9. Dont’ reveal everything all at once.

8. When the client gets aggressive, step back.

7. Be confident; you have what they want.

6. To make the most money you must believe you are better than your competitors.

5. Make your quotas!

4. When the money stops flowing, move on.

3. You don’t have to be good to make a lot of money; you just have to give the customers what they want.

2. Vomiting is never sexy.

And the number one business tip I learned from a stripper:

1. When you make a mistake, create a distraction by touching your breasts.

With all this new knowledge I’m starting a new how-to website for stay home moms under my stripper alias, Stretchmark:

Stripping For Fun and Profit During School Hours.