Cut Costs This Year, Starting with the Tooth Fairy

by on January 2, 2009
in Uncategorized

If you’re feeling the sting of the economic crisis, the credit crunch, or just plastic cuts from your own holiday spending, consider cutting back on child related costs this year. Examine your budget carefully, then wisely wield your scalpel. Vow this year to say no to peer pressure of the imaginary kind. You just may find the Tooth Fairy is ripe for downsizing.

When my daughter lost her first tooth, she was handsomely rewarded by the Tooth Fairy with a crisp dollar bill (which I swiped from my son’s piggy bank, but that’s another story). The next morning she pranced down the stairs, proud of her newfound riches. A whole dollar! She couldn’t have been happier.

A couple days later, her mouth got in the way of two toddlers engaged in a friendly backyard brawl. She ran bleeding and triumphant across the lawn, showing off the fresh gape at the bottom of her Kindergarten smile.

That evening as I put her to bed, she placed the tooth carefully under the pillow.

“Mom?”

“Yes sweetie?” I said, pulling up the sheet and folding it under her chin.

“Some people get more than a dollar.”

I tried not to react. “Really? What do they get?”

She hesitated before answering. “Well… some people get toys.” She was shy – or was it calculating. Then she added, “Ella got $20!”

Twenty bucks? For a tooth? No wonder the economy’s in such a mess.

I told my daughter that I didn’t know anything about the official Tooth Fairy payment schedule, but that her brother had always gotten $1 from the irrepressible imp and she ought to expect the same.

Not to deprive the Tooth Fairy of her mission in life, but consider for a moment where this leads. You let the Tooth Fairy drop twenty dollars a pop and then what about the Easter Bunny? He’s not going to be upstaged by some flighty chick who doesn’t even merit her own holiday. Before you know it the gold bunny will be made of actual gold. Poor Santa’s already on the hook for plenty. Let this kind of spending go unchecked and mark my words next year you’ll be pulling out a home equity loan for school clothes. If you can get a loan that is.

Bottom line: It’s a tooth, not an accomplishment. If your kid complains, blame it on the Fairy.

Image Credit: booleansplit, Flickr

Bad Mom Chronicles: Forgot To Be The Tooth Fairy

by on February 21, 2008
in Uncategorized

“Mom! Look!” – Boy Child reaches under his pillow and pulls out a sandwich baggie with a tooth inside.

“Oh my gosh!”

Think. Think!

“Oh my gosh, it’s probably because of the storm! The Tooth Fairy can’t fly in this weather!” Hey, you work with what you’ve got. “Put it back, quick. I’ll bet she comes tonight.”

You would think the jig would be up by now. He’s nine and this past Christmas I had to confess about Santa when he asked, Mom, who really bought the Wii? The Tooth Fairy is such a lower level fairy tale creature. Probably he just wants his dollar. Smart kid.

What do you guys do when you screw up the make-believe stuff?