Resist the Beach Photo Conspiracy
by Lela Davidson on May 23, 2008
in Uncategorized
Photo: Lela Davidson (The Way Better Beach Photo That Was Actually Fun To Take)
For years I have admired idyllic scenes of happy families posing serenely on the beach, after what I’d imagined was a peaceful day of cavorting in the sand and surf. When we planned our vacation to Gulf Shores, Alabama last summer, I’ll admit that half the anticipation was the chance to take a beach photo. Finally – the picturesque Christmas card fantasy would come true!
I packed matching white shirts and clean khakis for everybody. Who wears that?
Once we got to the beach, I forgot everything. White sugar sand scrunched under foot on the way to the endless ocean. Everything was blue, green, and white and the colors changed all day with the sunlight. Little crooked fences coaxed sand into subtle dunes and sea creatures swam around us. The kids chased crabs and caught them. Every morning we woke to a fresh, awe-inspiring view and every afternoon we lived in a magazine layout. John buried the kids in the sand, and I hosed them down. We walked the windswept beach and slept like mad. We wore rumply clothes and bathing suits and did nothing but eat and drink.
Then one evening we pulled out the neat white and khaki. I’d almost lost the desire, but not quite. You can’t not take the beach photo. (Okay, that’s a lie. I was dying to take the beach photo. It’s that important. There was no way I’d leave that place without evidence.)
Turns out those smiles in the beach photo are totally fake. It’s hot and uncomfortable on the sand, and try as you might you just can’t stop yourself from sweating. You are staring into the setting sun and trying not to squint. Your oldest child is fighting off a stomach bug. In a shining moment someone barks out:
Smile. Now! You can be sick when we’re done!
My advice: Skip the picture and let your little swimmers have all the fun they want, sans white shirts. Don’t forget to check out what other parent bloggers have to say, or better yet tell us your own favorite summer memory!
