The Other Kind of Breasts

Ever since sex-ed, the Boy Genius has been more interested in all things anatomy and physiology. (Aha, maybe this is why the fundamentalists don’t like education!) The other day we were discussing poultry.

Boy Genius: So when we eat chicken breasts, what is that exactly?

Rational Adult: It’s chicken breast.

[pensive, squinty look followed by:]

Boy Genius: But chickens don’t have breasts.

Caught in the Act

After an enlightening conversation with a new acquaintance, I decided to ask my Facebook Friends if they’d ever been caught in the act by their kids. The response was overwhelming. The situations people were willing to share with me made me insanely jealous, and also wonder if they knew what that little turny-thingy on the door knob is for. Not a surprise: there were a lot of instances of women getting tossed across the room out of sight.

I won’t go into the individual stories, but I thought I’d let you in on the top excuses given to the traumatized children.

• We’re practicing our MMA moves.
• I’m just rubbing Mommy’s back.
• Sometimes Mommy likes to play Cowgirl.
• I’m looking for my phone.
• Oh come on, it’s nothing you haven’t seen on Channel 726.

and my personal favorite…

• Well I guess I’ll never be able to talk Mommy into THAT again.

Would You Sell Your Sex Life for $20?

 

The following classified recently ran in my local paper:

Needed for research
University of Arkansas – Psych. Dep. seeks romantic couples to participate in interviews on relationship and sexual satisfaction. Couples will get $20 gift cards. 

Whoa, now. Twenty bucks? How romantic do you suppose a couple would have to be to consider this a date night activity? And where do you think the gift card is redeemable? Harp’s? One can only hope it’s a pre-paid Visa.

I wonder if the couples will have make up sex after the fight over how to spend the $20.

Sounds like a follow up interview.

Make Out Much?

I got a request for a poll so what better excuse to play with Blogger’s new poll feature!

My friend who may prefer to remain anonymous writes:

Am I the only woman on earth married ten years who finds it utterly repulsive to french-kiss her own husband? I mean really – I can do anything and get through it, but that is about to kill me.

I think we can all draw our own conclusions about the anything…

Anyway… Go vote now!!! The poll is in the top right corner. I’ll let you know the results as they come in. Let’s hope this is more accurate than that whole Obama/Clinton thing.