Live From My Kitchen: Blacklisted Book Trailer

When I launched Blacklisted from the PTA I wanted a killer book trailer, but I figured those were for other people–people with marketing budgets. Then I went to BlogHer where I met Sarah Maizes, who stars in her own fabulous trailer for the long-titled Got Milf?: The Modern Mom’s Guide to Feeling Fabulous, Looking Great, and Rocking a Minivan.

Sarah said, ”You don’t have a book trailer? You HAVE to have a book trailer. Book trailers are so AWESOME! How can you not have a book trailer?” Or something like that. I’m paraphrasing. She also told me to check out Jenna McCarthy. No, not Jenny, Jenna. It’s okay, she’s used to that. Jenna wrote a book with another painfully long title, If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married. (Seriously, ladies, save some words for inside the book.) Jenna’s trailer is adorable, especially the outtakes. So it should be. She has a sponsor, a SEX-product sponsor! I can only wish for such luck.

Hello, Duracell?

My little dream of a book trailer had all but faded when I found out Jessica Bern offered video blog coaching. I had met Jessica in real life at BlogHer too, though we’d known each other for years online. (Go, Facebook!) Anyway, I knew if anyone could help, it was Jessica. So with much Skyping, whining, pain, re-shoots, whining, rewrites, edits, whining, and searching for the perfect cul-de-sac rap, I managed to create this trailer for Blacklisted from the PTA. If you haven’t watched it yet, and shared it with some friends, you should, because it’s kickass.

I could not, would not have done a bit of it without Jessica’s help, patience, and relentless nagging to man up and finish the damn thing already.

So thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Sarah and Jenna (I swear I’m not a full-time stalker.) And thank you, all of you who have already pimped this out on your various networks, pages, posts, tweets, and status updates.

If you would like to create your own slice of awesome embededness, contact Jessica Bern, who will guide you every step of the way. Or, if you’re feeling flush, you can hire her to do it for you.

8 Types of Bloggers You Meet at BlogHer

I went to my very first ever BlogHer last weekend. Wow. I had heard it was big and spectacular, but I didn’t know it was Disneyland. There was so much vying for my attention that I could have spent the entire weekend mourning for the things I missed. But I did not do that. Instead, I sampled a bit of everything the conference had to offer. I went to a couple of sessions, had a couple of meetings, went to a few parties, and strolled and worked the expo floor. The best part, of course, was meeting so many fantastic people I follow online or in print. (More on them below.) I came away with a new respect for blogging, a lot of great contacts, and a feel for the different types of BlogHer conference attendees.

The Swag Whore

Not to be confused with the whore-whore (um, yes, this was a convening of media people, so…) Anyway, I had heard about the merchandise given to bloggers at BlogHer, but there is just no way to comprehend the quantity and quality of swag until you see it first hand. The Swag Whore is more interested in checking items off her Christmas list than improving the quality of her website or the caliber of her connections. In my [stupid] attempt to focus on my primary goals and travel light, I maintained a no-swag policy until the very last party. Next year I will keep my focus on business, and outsource my swag whoring.

The Matriarch

The Matriarchs of BlogHer have been around since Al Gore invented the internet. I didn’t meet a single one, but admired them from afar.

The Bright-Eyed Baby Blogger

For the most part, the women I met at BlogHer were highly accomplished, driven professionals. I only met a few newbies. And they stood out. For example, in a hallway full of women bloggers introducing themselves, one extra-excited young woman exploded in “I’m a mommy blogger too!” What are the odds? This is akin to the newbie writer’s conference attendee who is certain their manuscript is *this close* to being optioned into a Spielberg film. This close. I like these people, mostly because I want to go back in time and be them again.

The Groupie

I expected to meet a lot of the bloggers I’ve followed over the years. I didn’t expect they’d have entourages and hold court in corners of conference rooms and bars. I fell into the Groupie category on many occasions, such as upon meeting Wendi Aarons, Tracy Beckerman, Stefanie Wilder Taylor, Ann Imig, and Jessica Bern. I positively gushed over Deb Ng, who used to run the very best resource for freelance writers online and is now a big deal in the co-ed blogging world. (Yes, boys blog, too.) I tried not to bug these wonderful women, for real. I don’t think asking them to sign my breast in Sharpie went too far.

The Diva

The Diva strolls from one party to another with premium swag weighing her down. She has been around. She knows all. Luckily, I only met one blogger who disappointed me with her less-than-lovely real life self. Of course I’m not going to mention her by name, but I will say she wasn’t the only one. I heard many stories of “Who are you?” and “Don’t you know who I am?” Being courted by the brands does not impress me. Show me the money or write a book and then I’ll respect you. Which brings me to…

The Writer

The Writer is not quite sure why she is attending BlogHer. Some are here to see old friends, who are also writers and who may or may not have been bloggers before they had book deals but now they are literary types whose publishing houses really should be handling all this marketing filth. Some are painfully shy. Some are funny. Some are serious. Most have dignity, at least enough NOT to dance with a McDonald’s bag on their heads.

The Funny Bitch

Oh, there’s nothing quite so entertaining as a Funny Bitch. The trouble is when they flock together, pouncing on jokes and competing for attention. And yet, the funny bitches were the most fun.

The Para-Celebrity

I understand the blogging community in a whole new way since attending BlogHer. In our celebrity obsessed society, bloggers get to carve out a little audience. In turn the brands feed them drinks, glamorous party locations, and red carpet photo opps to feed their semi-famous self image. If I learned anything this weekend, it’s that I need to do a better job of pretending to be a celebrity. How else will I get to the point where some Groupie asks me to sign her breast?

Sass Runs in Packs

It’s that time again. Links to stuff I like. I have good taste, so go read this stuff. And make sure you tell them Lela sent you!

 

• Wendi had a bad week. Go cheer her up – she’ll return the favor!
• The Mouthy Housewives (this one is actually Wendi too) gives us the definition of a Cougar. Finally. Now that I’m forty, it’s very important information for me personally.
• And speaking of, who wants to be a Cougar anyway? Not Gretchen Shift. I love this piece on MyPheme, and I wholeheartedly agree. Why would anyone want to be the older woman?
• Don’t forget the fork. Jessica Bern tells why.

Need a Laugh? Jessica Bern is Larry David on Estrogen

When you need a laugh – and when don’t you need a laugh – check out Jessica Bern’s video series on YouTube, starting here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE3Yl-pLpOw. Watch Jessica tell all to her therapist.

(Midwest and Southern girls: Don’t worry, ‘therapist’ is just our coastie sisters’ word for best girlfriend. Or that friend who always fills your glass.)

Just make sure the kids aren’t around or you’ll have some splainin’ to do.

Me: [enjoying video] That was a bad word.
Boy: Yeah, I know.
Me: Don’t say that, okay?
Boy: Yeah. Can you help me with my homework?
Me: Can’t you see I’m working? [resume enjoying video] There goes another one.
Boy: I know, MOM.
Me: Okay, just so you know.
Boy: How exactly is this part of your writing ‘work’?
Me: Do your homework.

Could You Fall Asleep During a Root Canal?

If you’re sleepy, or your tooth hurts, or you really just need to know that other people are living the same crazy life you are, you have got to read this post from Jessica Bern. Maybe it’s the fact that my husband is going in to work early and I’m trying to wake up with him, or maybe it’s just that my everlovin’ three year old root canal is bother me AGAIN (no fault of the snack mix I overate this weekend….) but this story cracked me up. Try and not get distracted for too long with Jessica’s videos.