Christmas in October

The official day this year is Friday, November 25th. That is the day my family is allowed to start singing Christmas songs. I have nothing against Christmas music. I rather enjoy it. But only during the season. There is nothing worse than a cheerful child’s voices singing about dashing through the snow when it’s 85 degrees outside. It’s crap like that can ruin a holiday. If you ask me. And you didn’t, nor did my family. The difference between you and them is that they must abide by my rules. Or find loopholes. Hence:

 

We wish you a happy Halloween,

we wish you a happy Halloween,

we wish you a happy Halloween

and get lots of candy!

Good candy to you, to you and your kids

We wish you a happy Halloween and get lots of candy!

“What? That is NOT a Christmas song.”

Little shits.

Image: D’Arcy Norman, Flickr

 

Pros and Cons of Putting 16-Year-Old Girls in Wedding Gowns

Farewell to the Days of Sweet Halloween Costumes

This year my daughter had wanted to be an evil bunny rabbit. Then it was hotdog, John McCain, and finally a ‘business woman’.

(Note: The fact that she chose John McCain is less reflective of the political tenor of our home than her desire to oppose her brother, who had wanted to be Barack Obama. That is a whole other story.)

Now, inspired by a clown mask and the breif case she had planned to use to be a business woman, she’s been running around the house saying ‘Put the money in the bag!’. She calls it a bank robber. I say hedge fund manager.

Anyway… all this to say – it’s a far cry from last year when she was none other than prairie-sweet Laura Ingalls Wilder. As soon as she said she wanted to be this wholesome figure, I rushed down to the Salvation Army and bought up all their lace and ruffly pillowcases. Mind you, I’m not crafty. That’s why this costume will forever be my masterpiece.

Could she be any cuter? She’s wearing a gigantic grin. Trust me. (If you’ve been here for a while you know I don’t like to post my kids’ pictures.) Now, I’m no photograper. I probably won’t win the Halloween photo contest over at Parent Bloggers, but I’m entering this anyway under the category of–

Best Homemade Costume.

Because it is. Hands down.

Note the crafty use of ruffles….

… the home spun petticoat and apron

… the genius re-purposing of a too-small blouse.

I outdid myself. I really did.

And this year she’s a bank robber. Lovely.

By the way, was posted in part to promote Blurb’s super cool DIY photo books. You really ought to check them out!

The Time Has Come for a Boo Gift Registry

For the past several years, I’ve been an Boo Basket proponent. I stuff the baskets, ring the doorbells, and run like mad. If you’re not familiar with the Boo, it’s simply a fun way to spread some Halloween joy around your neighborhood by leaving a little basket of goodies under cover of darkness. The basket comes with instructions for the next person to continue the Boo and a little sign for the door to let people know they’ve been Boo’d. However, it can get complicated.

Say for example you’ve gone to the store to get just the right supplies for your neighbor who has a baby, a toddler, and two dogs, but minutes before you’re set to Boo and run, you notice they’ve been Boo’d by someone else. Now you have to start all over and there’s a lot to consider when making up a Boo basket. Once you figure out what to put in it, you’ve got to determine just which of your neighbors to Boo who will keep the chain going. Because God forbid you Boo a Boo Killer! And even when things go smoothly, there’s the problem of competition. No one wants to give the crappy Boo basket. Therefore the goodies get more and more extravagant each year.

That’s why next year I propose a Boo Gift Registry. Let’s take this thing online to solve the problems of being beaten to the Boo, accidentally Booing non-participatory neighbors, and making it abundantly clear what you’d like to receive in your Boo basket. Who’s in?

Jonesin’ For Candy Corn Crack

Fear the Bunny, A Cautionary Halloween Tale

Every year my kids choose Halloween costumes. And every year since they were about four they have insisted that those costumes be different than the ones they wore the year before. As if anyone remembers. But okay. Off we go to Wal-Mart to find something good. Wait a minute – we don’t do that at all. Turns out I’m WAY too cheap to shell out $20 each and every year for some half-sewn wad of polyester. No, it’s a rare day that we buy off-the-shelf goblin attire. Usually I send my children into the closet with a pair of blunt scissors and a Sharpie.

“Be creative,” I say. And they are. One year my son made a convincing Luke Skywalker from nothing but a scrap of burlap and the core from an old roll of wrapping paper. My daughter looked just like Laura Ingalls Wilder in a dress made from pillow cases and some strategically placed pot-holders. They have paraded the neighborhood as fairies, witches, ghosts, and pirates.

But last year my girl settled on her dream costume long before we ventured into the closet.

“I want to be a bunny rabbit,” she told me. Great, I thought. I started mentally planning: white t-shirt, blush pink nose, floppy rag ears, done. I was all for it until she added, “We can use ketchup for the blood!”

I hadn’t factored in the blood. But it soon became clear that she didn’t want to be an ordinary bunny, but an evil bunny rabbit – the one from Monty Python. She wanted to be the bunny with the vicious teeth. If you haven’t seen the Holy Grail, there’s a bunny, lots of blood, and an injured knight of the round table. (All very family friendly I assure you.)

Although I’d rather she dress up as something a little less menacing, my daughter was intent on being evil. Who knew my cute second grader was a Halloween purist? I can’t blame her. Halloween is supposed to be scary. It’s fun to play evil. Who would you rather pretend to be – Cruella DeVille or the lame-o chick trying to save the puppies? Playing evil is fun because it’s make believe. And we all know that real evil doesn’t wear vampire teeth.

In the end, I was able to talk my angel of a girl into being a green-faced witch. She got to be scary, but traditional too and in my opinion, sweet and nostalgic. This year she told me she wants to be a hot dog. So apparently she’s simply intent on splashing herself with ketchup. And she knows how to work the system.

Rushing the Seasons

Okay, so I meant to write about this back in August, but life and deadlines got in the way. It was a crisp morning, one of the first cooler days we’d had in a long time. I was really enjoying my run and the comfortabel weather when I saw the first one. Prominently displayed on some over achiever’s immaculate entry was a Halloween decoration. Remember, it was still August, I swear.

Now, before you get all defensive and give me some crap about it was a ‘fall’ decoration. No. Not even. Last I checked, pumpkins = Halloween. Black ribbon? So witchy! I jogged along on my merry disgruntled way thinking that some people just can’t enjoy the moment. They’ve got to rush every single thing. Considering I may not ever get around to putting out anything remotely cute, you may think I’m just jealous. Maybe.

So I sort of got over it. To each his own and all that. I ran, enjoying the fresh, sweet air.

But then I saw another one. That’s two items of Halloween decor spotted during what is arguably the pinnacle month of summer. What’s wrong with you people?

Now, of course, it’s mid September and I’d say a solid one fourth of festive folks are setting out the Halloween props. I have even been sent a save-the-date for a Halloween party. Hold on while I check the calendar… Seven weeks. That’s how long until Halloween. Can we please, please, please just enjoy the crumbs of summer? Please? How about we wait until say… a month before the actual holiday to start decorating and celebrating? Any takers?

Because I can play that game too. Don’t make me break out the Easter bunnies.

I’m Hotter Than Britney

Confessions of a Food Nazi

I am lucky. Neither of my kids have ever been terribly picky. My kids actually like brussels sprouts and brocoli. However, I know that at least part of this is because I’m a bit of a Food Nazi. It’s not that I’m even that hung up on them eating healthy food every single minute, but if I cook something they are going to eat it. Whether they like it or not. For extreme cases, such as mushrooms and tomatoes, we have the one bite rule. We have as yet never backed down. We’ve had gagging at the dinner table, but by God those mushrooms were tasted.

I am also a believer that kids join our lives, not the other way around. So if I’ve got a hankerin’ for eggplant parmesan, that’s what they’re having. This is one of the few benefits of being the family cook. I choose what we eat. That’s not to say that I don’t consider the kids’ preferences when planning meals, but only to a point.

When they were younger I used to sneak veggies into meatballs, Deceptively Delicious style. But that takes work. Now I’m lazier. I just plop it out on the plate at say EAT!

I’m not much help with the sneaky tricks, but if you’ve got picky eaters at home you can find a lot of good tips today at the Parent Bloggers Network. They’ve asked regular moms like me to share their secrets. Go check it out.

Quick and Healthy Breakfasts For Kids
Top Five Ways to Raise a Healthy Eater
Tilapia is Fish Kids Eat
Top 5 Halloween Candy Alternatives
Kid-Friendly Vegetable Recipes For Thanksgiving

Hooray for Halloween!

I’ve written a whole series of articles about Halloween for HubPages. I hope you find something useful!

Kids Halloween Party Ideas
Halloween Recipes for Kids
How to Start the Halloween Boo in Your Neighborhood
Halloween Jokes For Kids: Sorted by Type
Kids Halloween Costumes: Quick and Cheap Homemade
Should You Let Your Kids Celebrate Halloween?
Best Halloween Books For Kids
Top Ten Tips for Trick-or-Treat Safety
Top 5 Halloween Candy Alternatives
Best Ways to Use Leftover Halloween Candy

Next Page »