Top 5 Reasons Swine Flu is More Fun to Follow Than Sports

I’m having a lot more fun tracking the spread of the swine flu than I ever have following sports. Maybe it’s because I’ve never actually been any good at sports, but I’m okay at getting sick once in a while. Or maybe it’s because H1N1 crushes sports for pure entertainment value.

I submit to you the Top 5 Reasons:

1. Swine Flu is Easy
Unlike following sports, you don’t really need to know what’s going on in order to make sense of flu stats. You just log on to the CDC site and watch the numbers grow.

2. Swine Flu is Inclusive
Like sports, there’s nothing you can do that will impact the outcome of the flu’s progression. However, at least with the flu there’s actually a good chance you will actually participate.

3. Swine Flu is Big Money
Sports is big money too, but flu has greater potential. Think Tamiflu sponsorship placcards on school busses and those leisure coaches old people travel around in. Plus, I’m betting there’s plenty of betting based on the H1N1 numbers.

4. Swine Flu is Easy to Armchair Quarterback
With sports you actually have to know what’s going on to make any kind of intelligent criticism. Flu is significantly easier to comment on. Three words: wash, your, hands.

5. Swine Flu Comes with a Cheaper Buzz and Fewer Side Effects
You can’t follow sports without beer and the good stuff’ll cost you. Germex, the swine flu fan’s intoxicant of choice, can be picked up for a few bucks at Walgreen’s. And there’s hardly any hangover.