Why I Heart Facebook
by Lela Davidson on October 5, 2010
in It's All About Me, Random Amusements
I heart Facebook, I do. If I could I would marry it and never want for conversation. It can be annoying, sure, but Facebook has given me a tool not only to eavesdropping on others’ conversations and observing their [often significant] lapses in judgment, but also to get to know people I otherwise would not have known. And all from a few status updates. For example, here are a few that came up in my feed this afternoon:
”As for God, His way is perfect.” ~Psalm 18:30″
“Who? What? Where?” ~Vinnie Barbarino
“I believe the start of Decorative Gourd Season would be October 1st and extends to the Thanksgiving holiday. Mother fuc&ker. :D”
And those, my friends, were all posted by the same woman. Did I mention how much I love Facebook?
For $20, What Do You Expect?
by Lela Davidson on April 16, 2010
in Random Amusements, Rugrats, Tweens, & Other Offspring
We should have known that a trip to the Tulsa Zoo was not going to rival San Diego, Toronto, or even Woodland Park in Seattle. But when the total tab for five children and two adults rang in at $20, we should have known something was up.
Highlights:
- The zoo employee who was amused, then surprised, then flat out shocked to notice that not just one, but all of the flamingoes slept balancing on one foot.
- Upon approaching the barrier to the polar bear exhibit, my friend uttering, “Is that deck railing?”
- The threat of the day: “If I have to jump in after you I am going to be some kind of pissed. I’ll do it, but I’ll be pissed.”
The Oklahoma Aquarium was much better than the zoo, especially the fishing reel and tackle collection. Where else can you see – in the same location – a Scatback, a Weezel Bopper, and a Old Time Nipple Dipper?
She Sleeps Until When?
by Lela Davidson on April 13, 2010
in motherhood, Rugrats, Tweens, & Other Offspring
When you hang out with other people’s children, you learn a lot about their parents. It’s fun.
I’ve written about our recent Spring Break zoo excursion to Tulsa. We tried to get adjoining rooms, but the best the hotel could do for us was two rooms across the hall from each other. I ended up with my daughter and her best friend. The other mom got stuck with all the boys and the pizza boxes. (I have no idea how that happened.) While we princesses were sleeping in, the other room was up watching cartoons and scarfing down leftover pizza.
“Are you girls hungry?” I asked the sleeping beauties in my room. My daughter’s friend nodded vigorously. “Okay,” I said “Let’s go to the other room. Your mom’s making oatmeal over there.”
“She is?” The girl looked at the clock. Her face registered extreme confusion. “Because she usually sleeps until like… ten.”
Thank God I’m a Country Girl
by Lela Davidson on October 7, 2007
in Uncategorized
Next, I saw the enormous turkey – a hurkin’ free-range bird who’d spend a season feasting on apples before Thanksgiving dinner. Check me in the country – identifying barnyard creatures! I’d come a long way since my first day in Arkansas.
“What are those?” I had asked my husband on the drive in.
“What are what?”
“Those miniature cow-lookin’ things,” I said, pointing out the window.
“The goats?”
Thank God I’m a country girl.
Then Sherri’s husband, Larry exposed me for the city slick I am.
“That’s not a turkey,” he said. Although I was pretty confident it was, I’m too smart to argue with a guy with a framed photo of George W and a gun cabinet in the living room.
“Looks like a bobcat,” Sherri’s mother said.
Larry got the binoculars.
“I think that’s a skunk,” he said.
“Could be a bobcat,” Mother said.
“That’s a skunk,” Larry said, sure now.
“Or a bobcat,” Mother said.
By this time other guests had arrived and the turkey/bobcat/skunk had hidden behind a tree. Larry disappeared too, as men do when a room fills with estrogen. We ladies got to chatting and forgot all about the beast until a screech filled the room.
“Skunk!” Sherri’s sister-in-law shouted, having missed out on the earlier debate.
My previous experience with skunks consisted of Pepe Le Pew cartoons, but this animal was neither charming nor French. And, apparently, it wasn’t acting like a skunk, which I learned are nocturnal. He shouldn’t have been out before dark and he sure had no business waddling around like a bum on Mad Dog 20/20.
Turns out there’s nothing like a rabid skunk to liven up a party.
Sherri’s sister-in-law gushed at the prospect of shooting something and promptly called the Men. Larry appeared almost instantly in the yard with a rifle and a friend. Before I knew it, snap-pop-dead-skunk. Kind of handy – that gun cabinet.
This is the way of the country.
We continued our party, barely noticing the odor of deceased, diseased rodent. When things started to wrap up, Larry appeared again in the kitchen. He filled his plate with tacos and fixins from the Mexican hat Lazy Susan, then walked out the front door.
“Where’s he going?” I asked.
“Back out to his trailer.”
Aha! It wasn’t a mom trailer at all. It was a Man Trailer! Larry had his own personal territory where females would not tread. And it turned out he wasn’t the only one. Other women told of tool sheds, campers, and detached garages. Why hadn’t I thought of that?
After I’d said my goodbyes, I rolled slowly down the long gravel driveway. Blue light emanated from the Man Trailer and I wondered at this curious habitat. What did it hold? Dirty magazines? Band saws? Beer? I’d never know, but I left feeling humbled by the country, awed by its wild beasts, and impressed with the unexpected merits of gun cabinets and keeping a trailer on the front lawn.
Check Out: Gossip and Travel
by Lela Davidson on October 5, 2007
in Uncategorized
