Can Someone Please Explain Cotillion?

I sent my son to cotillion and I don’t know why. I mean it was cute and all, seeing him dressed like a little yachtsman, a miniature polititian, but what was the point? Over the course of ten weeks the kids learned some dances, which they will never use in actual social situations except for maybe at their wedding. If my prayers are answered that won’t be for at least another two decades and they’ll forget by then, right?

The culmination of cotillion was the Holly Ball. We parents dressed up and joined the kids in the gymnasium of the Boys and Girls Club. There were jackets and corsages. I’m not sure what it is we’re preparing them for. Maybe if the dances were held at a country club — if we belonged to one of those, and if it were the type that hosted formal dances and not just happy hours where surgically enhanced housewives got drunk and rationalized screwing the service guy at the Lexus dealership – maybe then it would make sense. But from where I stand, it doesn’t.

This year I had it easy. I had a boy in cotillion. That meant one outfit, week after week. If the girl wants to participate, I’m into it for eight dresses. But I don’t think she’ll bite. She’s smarter than the rest of us. One look at the panty hose and white gloves and she’ll call bullshit. God, how I love that girl.

Hey, ‘Sup Man

At back to school night I greeted one of my son’s friends: Hey, Dude, what’s up? My sixth grader averted his eyes and we walked away in silence.

Mom, what have I told you about calling my friends Dude?

Um… Is this a trick question?

I told you not to do it.

Oh. Okay. What should I say?

Just say, hi, how’s it going?

Just then we spotted a neighbor girl.

Here’s your chance. Practice on Mackenzie.

I obeyed: Hi, how’s it going?

Not like that.

How then?

Okay, don’t say that.

What am I allowed to say?

Just say: Hey, ‘sup man.

Sweet.

Considering Mindfulness in Children

In my wanderings I came across this New York Times article about mindfulness and kids from last summer. The article talks about using mindfulness techniques in school, but as we head fast into the holidays, I wonder if this is something we can apply in our homes.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is simply being in the present moment. Students in California (what – not Arkansas?) are learning to use objects or sounds of focus (like the new school bell) to slow down and concentrate on breathing. Coaches are teaching kids in 15 minute sessions how to have “gentle breaths and still bodies.” Some are calling the practice of mindfulness “the new ABC’s — learning and leading a balanced life.”

How Can Mindfulness Help Kids?

The funny thing to me is that we’ve heard ‘pay attention’ our whole lives, but what does that truly mean? Mindfulness teaches how. While the practice is derived from Buddhist teachings, the mindfulness taught to kids in school is totally secular , using language like “being present” and “cultivating compassion” and avoiding any spiritual connotations.

A doctor at at Stanford, said the initial findings showed increased control of attention and less negative internal chatter. Another study found that mindfulness helped improve mood disorders, depression, and self-harming behaviors like eating disorders.

Our Kids Need to Be Mindful

The stress kids are dealing with today are so much greater than ten or twenty years ago. They live with a constant barrage of stimuli, including scrolling feeds on TV, video games, and text messages. One teacher quoted in the Times article notes that our kids are so overstimulated that some have difficulty even closing their eyes.

What can we do over the holidays to help our kids slow down and relax? I’d love to know your ideas. (I suspect the first step is for us parents to slow down first!) And are some kids better candidates for this than others?

For more information, see the Association for Mindfulness in Education

Unique Toys for 2008

Every year Fat Brain Toys recognizes the best-of-the-best in specialty toys. These are quality toys, games, and gifts for children chosen by actual consumers.

If you’re looking for something unique for a special child this year, why not check these out? All the links lead to Amazon! Here are a few of my favorites:

Does Your Child Need an Attitude Adjustment?

Does your child ever whine, talk back, throw tantrums at the store? Would you like to change attitude problems quickly and easily? Of course you would! That’s why James Lehman has created his transformational behavior program! Yay!

When I heard Mr. Lehman selling his goods on late night cable, I was tempted by the free gift with purchase: 10 Ways to Turn Around Your Child’s Attitude in One Minute or Less. Who wouldn’t want that? Then I remembered falling for a similar promise. Maybe you’ve heard of the book Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Key word: easy. Yeah right. I practically lost my mind trying to force my kid through those easy lessons. I suspect the same to be true of the one minute or less promise. Come on – parenting is a process. Are there really any magic beans?

One look at Mr. Lehman and you can tell he’s spent his life dealing with attitude challenged teenagers! But hey, if you want to give it a go, the program can be yours for ’3 convenient monthly payments of $109.00 billed to the credit card.’ Just don’t blame me if your own attitude suffers for it.

If you’re a parent, you’re just as expert as anyone else, so tell us all – what works for you?

Also – check out my advice on parenting. Totally free!

Children and Poverty: 3 Steps For Targeted Giving

Today is Blog Action Day and we’re all addressing the issue of poverty. I started thinking about this last week actually, when I heard the Deputy Superintendent of our local public schools speak on teaching children of poverty and the difference between them and the poor. Did you know there was a difference? I didn’t.

We wonder what to do. We take tickets from the giving trees at Christmas, send shoe boxes around the world, gather cans for the food bank. But it’s never enough. It can seem overwhelming. If we’re not careful we can get paralyzed by the enormity of the problem and not I challenge you this year to scale back and ramp up your efforts. What do I mean by that?

Step 1 – Find Your Passion: How do you find your passion? Easy – it’s the thing that makes you cry when you think of it, read it in the news, hear it on the radio, or see it on TV.

Step 2 – Channel Your Efforts: Once you find something that you’re passionate about, focus all your efforts into that one thing. Whether it’s putting together food baskets or producing a fundraiser for the local shelter, pick one thing and do it well.

Step 3 – Lose the Guilt: You – little old you – cannot do everything. Take the weight of the world off your shoulders. By choosing to give in the area you feel strongest for, you’re making a world of difference.

Feel better? Good! Now get out there and put that good feeling to work!