40th Birthday Party Themes

I had a big party for my 40th birthday, and it was fun – capital F kind of fun. As some of my girlfriends are getting close to their big days, we’re coming up with themes for their parties. We talked about luaus, casino nights, Oscar themes. One friend is planning to have hers at the roller rink. The guys are not as interested. Forty is not their big year anyway. Looking toward 50 they only came up with one party idea: strip club theme.

Just think of the party favors: little purple pills.

Stuff I Learned at My 40th Birthday Party

I threw myself a big party for my fortieth birthday. We had an 80s Prom theme because I couldn’t think of anything more fun and sillier, and because I really needed an excuse to tease my hair. In addition to having a great time and celebrating this milestone date on the calendar in over-the-top style, I also learned a few things.

Among them:

• The DJ is not always right, but usually he is.
• Aqua Net is a process.
• When it comes to flash photography, there is no such thing as too much makeup.
• If you want it how you want it, you have to do it yourself.
• When you invite a bunch of people who own cameras and Facebook accounts to your party, don’t drink.
• Some things that happened in high school will always happen, no matter how many milestone birthdays you have. But the older you get, the less you care.
• Balloon arches make everything better.
• Pretend magic wands actually work.
• It’s always nice to be called hot, even if the boy who says it is younger than the boy who took you to your actual prom over twenty years ago. And not hot.
• Dresses with big bustles cover a multitude of pole-worthy moves.
• After just a few drinks, the most dignified women you know will beg for Pussy Control. (It’s a song.)
• Beautiful cakes can taste great.
• Pink drink specials are dangerous.
• It’s a fine line, but you must learn to wear the tiara as long as you can get away with it, and not a minute longer.

Thanks to all of you who came for the spectacle. Thanks for all the fabulous birthday wishes. See you on the dance floor.