My Wendy Williams Experience

A couple of months ago I was invited to interview Wendy Williams for a web feature she tapes daily called “After the Show.” Sounded cool, but the odds of me going to New York City on my dime for the opportunity were not good. And then a friend decided on New York for her pre-wedding girls trip. If I could multi-task, this just might work. Calls were made, emails flew, and soon I held two VIP passes and an appointment with the Queen of “how you doing?” herself.

In true Lela fashion, I did not get a proper photo with Ms. Williams. Lots of room for improvement in my personal celebrity photo opp department. But that’s okay, because I got fifteen minutes to chat with THE Wendy Williams about work, life, and balance. Here’s the video to prove it. (I start at the 5-minute mark.)

Before the interview, my friend and I watched the taping of the show. We took in the spectacle, the production, the complex process that led to the taping of a one-hour talk show in 30-second to 3-minute segments. There was a sexy dancing crowd warmer-upper, a sound mixer, DJ, a couple dozen producers, assistants, and producers, scores of instructions, and once the cameras started rolling… soap snow.

No joke. It snowed on us. Production VALUE!

If you’re thinking of attending a shoot like this, I suggest a pre-function cocktail. Or three.

My friend and I were fairly excited to find out that Real Housewife of New York / Skinny Girl / Bethenny Ever After Bethenny Frankel was the scheduled celebrity guest. It was fun to check her out at close range. She seemed cool enough in her segment on the couch. But even better…

I bumped Bethenny Frankel!

Okay, maybe not exactly, but I like the sound of it. You see, when the lovely PR contact showed us to the green room to wait for the interview. An attractive young man from Bethenny’s entourage wanted to talk to my PR contact, in private. We were shown into the room and the door was closed. I was sure this spelled the end of my interview, before it began. But those walls in the sound stage building, they don’t go all the way to the ceiling. After some low talking we heard Bethenny.

Apparently Ms. Frankel had been waiting around (at least 45 minutes), hoping to see Wendy Williams again. Our contact patiently — and repeatedly — explained that Ms. Williams didn’t always meet with guests after the show and had something previously scheduled. (That was me!) Eventually we were shown into Wendy Williams hyper-pink office. She was lovely and warm and absolutely professional. It looks glamorous from our side of the screen, and I’m sure it has it’s moments, but hosting a television talk show is a huge amount of work. Huge.

But, anyway… back to me. I gave Wendy a copy of Blacklisted from the PTA and she totally teased me with a money shot–holding the book up for the camera while she talked about how much she liked what the cover image represented.

And then they cut that part. Of course.

Oh, well. I bumped Bethenny. That’s something.

Holiday Hair: Myth or Magic?

Very disturbing news in the inbox today. I have been invited to write about my “go-to” holiday hairstyle. Upsetting not only because I do not personally possess such a thing, but also because I had no idea this was a thing. So now, in addition to having a) no failsafe holiday hair, and b) zero invitations to impromptu events requiring “holiday hair,” I also have to spend the rest of the season feeling inferior in the knowledge that others have both. Also, I am now obsessed with something called a sock bun. Thanks a lot, BlogHer.

So now I’m supposed to post about my go-to holiday hairstyle.

Um… clean?

My best friend in high school had an older sister who was a hairdresser. When I was sixteen she cut layers into my permed hair and told me about a technique she’d seen demonstrated at a recent hair show. At the end of the cut the stylist rubbed the client’s head around in his crotch and threw her back upright. He called it “the freshly f-cked look, direct from Dallas.”

Theatrical, yes. Perhaps I was unduly influenced, but ever since then I figure the messier the better. No hairstyle survives a good time, anyway. That’s not really a go-to holiday hairstyle, is it? Maybe some tinsel would help?

Surely, you have a better suggestion than mine – you should leave it in the comments here, or just do what the woman in the video does– you know, if you have those horrible long, thick locks. While you’re at it, enter to win $250 in BlogHer’s Life Well Lived sweepstakes. I did. Because mama needs some blowout.

Image Credit: hansvandenberg30, Flickr

 

 

Farewell, Beloved Liquid Liner

 

Thanks to L’Oreal for sponsoring my post about my favorite beauty looks, tips and tricks! Check out Makeup.com for beauty advice from the experts.

I have been enjoying smoky eyes, black eyeshadow, and liquid liner for a while. Maybe too long. It’s time for a change. I never want to be one of those cosmetic tragedies who get stuck in a look far past its time. I’ve seen too many makeover shows, not to mention trips to Walmart. I have always loved makeup.

Milestones in my personal makeup history:

1970: Skipped the Bonnie Belle and practiced with mom’s considerable makeup collection (some of which I guarantee I could find in her bathroom today.)

1984 – Listened to Van Halen and Def Leppard; embraced the look. No 8th grader needs black eyeliner. No two 8th graders need to share eyeliner in the bathroom at school. Try as we did, Pink Eye Chic never caught on at Vista Middle School.

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Girlfriends Are Good Medicine

I was excited about turning forty, and confused, and terrified, and unsure about my future in facial fillers.

My hormones didn’t help.

Generally, I’m not a very emotional person. I’m too busy for that crap, and frankly I think you should be too. But then came forty. I became extremely emotional, my periods got off their atomic-clock-accurate schedule, my heart raced, I couldn’t sleep, and I swear I had hot flashes.

Also, I wanted sex all the time. Like, every minute. In many ways it felt like adolescence, which was why I knew it had to be hormonal.

Did I mention the terribly painful and repulsive acne that plagued my jawline? That’s what sent me to the dermatologist, who confirmed that yes, there was definitely something going on with my hormones.

My regular doctor pulled up a hormone levels chart on her iPhone. The multiple lines rising and falling erratically looked about right, but offered no answers beyond ruling out my thyroid. Maybe it was the impending Big Birthday that had me thinking menopause, or peri-menopause, as we 40-is-the-new-17 like to call it.

It’s not that I thought I was actually entering my post-menstrual years. I could still Duggar-Up and procreate if I really had to. (Okay, I couldn’t, but that’s a whole other story.) But I knew what was happening to me was somehow related to the complicated mix that comes with being a woman.

So I googled frantically for symptoms of peri-menopause, switched to soy milk, and annoyed everyone I knew with my theories. They responded like this:

• My friends shunned the mention of the M word. They literally turned their bodies away from me, clutching their collective uteri and crying “NO! You are WAY too young for that!”
• My husband didn’t “buy it.” As you might imagine, this triggered my emotion of Anger, in a big way.
• The only women who would entertain the idea that my changes could possibly be menopause related were women who had been there. Instead of turning away, women in their 50s and 60s offered knowing nods. While it was comforting to have my suspicions validated, they offered little additional comfort. You might have symptoms for a couple of weeks, they said, and then you go two years with nothing.

The Writer’s Workout: Personal Training for Writers

Even though the cover of Christina Katz’ new book, The Writer’s Workout, 366 Tips, Tasks, & Techniques From Your Writing Career Coach, promises a hardcore workout, I couldn’t help but think of the book as more of an indulgence for a leisurely afternoon. Kind of. Because Katz really is my coach (I take writing career instruction from her) I expected to see some familiar advice among the pages, and I knew the advice would be valuable. For writers like me, who do not lack for ideas, but sometimes need direction, Katz’ methods are priceless. She helps us harness all those ideas, choosing which ones will pay off now (or later), leverage our strengths, and manage the sometimes overwhelming world of platform.

Exercise Smarter, Not Harder

Just as a personal trainer helps you work smarter in the gym, not harder, Katz keeps writers on track by getting them to keep thinking and questioning their writing careers, instead of fantasizing about them. What I expected from the book were daily drills, assignments, actions. However, once I finally got to see a copy, I found the book functions more like a daily devotional for writers who want to do more than write. (We want to sell what we write, and we want others to read our writing.) The “assignments” are there, but Katz is a savvy guide. She doesn’t spell things out for us. She can’t. Only we can. That’s the point, and that’s what makes the book so valuable. For example, the Fall section, Become Recognizable, is packed with platform advice. Katz starts off by challenging writers to assess where their platforms are today with a series of ten questions. No answers, but the questions help writers like me plan our own next steps. I might have to mark this page to read once a week because they remind me of things I need to keep thinking about, not one-off actions I can complete in a single sitting.

I expected the book to act like a trainer during a workout. It’s more like post-game, and the two of you are working on tactics for the next time out. Genius. Plus, I love that the ideas are presented quickly, in a page or less, so you’re not wasting any time reading about writing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Get a Copy, Give a Copy

The Writer’s Workout launches in paperback on December 26th (or you can order it on Kindle right now), and it is the perfect gift for any writer on your list. Especially if that writer is you. I would love nothing better than to begin on January 1st, working through the pages one by one. However, I’ll try to be strategic, working through the platform and career development nuggets first. And once I’m done with that I’ll flip back to the start and savor everything there. Beginning again.

Dear FCC: I received an advanced electronic copy of  The Writer’s Workout: 366 Tips, Tasks, & Techniques From Your Writing Career Coach, but I also purchased a real live paper copy of the book to sit on my shelf as a perpetual reminder and reference. Because I just KNOW it’s going to be that good. So there.

Image Credit: Andrew Stawarz, Flickr

Sexy or Sexist: My MissRepresentation

I watched the award-winning independent film MissRepresentation last month. The producers are building a movement of awareness around the themes of the film and unlike those occupying streets and parks across the country, this cause asks proponents to take real actions toward advancing their goals.

Among all the unsettling information presented in the movie, there was one statistic that really made me want to get involved.

Read the rest of this post on ModernMom.

Listen to Your Mother, Northwest Arkansas

The first time I heard about Listen to Your Mother, I wanted in.

What is Listen to Your Mother?

Listen to Your Mother features live readings by local writers on the beauty, the beast, and the barely-rested of motherhood, in celebration of Mother’s Day. Born of the creative work of mothers who publish online, each production in this national series is directed, produced, and performed by local communities, for local communities. The mission of each LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER production is to take the audience on a well-crafted journey that celebrates and validates mothering through giving voice to motherhood–in all of its complexity, diversity, and humor. And it’s coming to Northwest Arkansas in 2012!

Why Northwest Arkansas?

Because we rock. It started when I saw that Wendi Aarons was producing Ann Imig‘s Listen to Your Mother (LTYM) in Austin. I wrote to Ann, letting her know how much I loved the idea of the show, and how I’d love to help her bring it to Northwest Arkansas. For the next year I Facebooked and Tweeted her, sent her a copy of Blacklisted from the PTAto review, and took the mic at the LTYM Salon at BlogHer11–all the time reminding Ann how very well LTYM would be received in Northwest Arkansas. Keep in touch, she said.

Then I got the call to action. Ann was adding cities to the 2012 schedule. All I had to do was apply. All I had to do was convince Ann that Northwest Arkansas was the perfect community, I was the perfect one to lead the effort, and that I would have lots and lots of help to make the event a success. No pressure.

And we got it, Northwest Arkansas! We got it!

I’m so excited to work with mother/writers in our community to celebrate the diversity of motherhood. Listen to Your Mother, Northwest Arkansas is going to be amazing. Because you’re all going to be a part of it. Can’t wait. Can. Not. Wait! Stay tuned for specifics, including timing, sponsorship opportunities, volunteer staffing, and auditions.

We’re in Good Company

The 10 cities hosting LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER shows in celebration of Mother’s Day 2012:

AUSTIN: Co-Director/Producers Wendi Aarons and Jennifer Sutton

CHICAGO: Co-Director/Producers Tracey Becker and Melisa Wells

D.C.: Director Stephanie Dulli, Producer Kate Coveny Hood

MADISON: National Director, Ann Imig

NYC: Director Amy Wilson, Producer Varda Steinhardt, Assoc. Producers Holly Fink and Julie Nemitz

NORTHWEST ARKANSAS: Director/Producer Lela Davidson

NW INDIANA: Director/Producer Stephanie Precourt

PHILADELPHIA: Co-Director/Producers Cecily Kellogg and Dresden Shumaker

SAN FRANCISCO: Co-Director/Producers Kim Thompson-Steel and Kirsten Patel

SPOKANE: Director Stacey Conner, Producer Elise Raimi

 

Special thanks to BlogHer for national media sponsorship!

 

Image: Auntie K, Flickr

Blacklisted Holiday Events in Northwest Arkansas

The holidays are racing by faster than we can keep up, but luckily — just for you — I created the perfect gift for hostesses, mothers, sisters, BFFs, and anyone else whose stocking could use some cheer. Blacklisted from the PTA is the ideal (and inexpensive!) holiday gift for anyone on your list. It ships easy and plays well with others.

If you’re in Northwest Arkansas, I hope you’ll come see me at one (or both!) of two very special events in the next few weeks.

NWA Boutique Show

VIP Shopping, Friday, November 18th, noon-2pm

Friday, November 18th, 2pm-8pm and Saturday, November 19th 9am-6pm

Northwest Arkansas Convention Center in Springdale

This juried show is a shopping event like no other in NWA, featuring more than 150 boutique booths with one-of-a-kind and custom creations from local and regional designers. Clothing, jewelry, art, stationery, gifts, personalized items, home décor, furniture, baby essentials and… my book.

Imagine Boutique will be the exclusive distributor of Blacklisted from the PTA at the NWA Boutique Show this fall. Also, the show will have five copies of the book to give away to lucky shoppers. As if all that weren’t enough, I’ll be in and out of the Imagine booth personalizing books. If you want to be sure to catch me, come to the VIP Event on Friday from noon-2pm. I hope you’ll stop by and see us!

I went to the show last year and it really is a lot of fun, and the perfect place to find some special gifts.

Blacklisted for the Holidays with Lela Davidson and Ruth’s Chris

Sunday, December 4th, 3pm-5pm

Prime, at Ruth’s Chris Steak House 

I’m so excited for this event! Please join us at Prime, the fabulous Ruth’s Chris lounge for a reading, book signing, and surprises! Just in time for the holidays, select copies of Blacklisted from the PTA will be pre-signed and wrapped for easy gift giving. Other copies will be available for purchase as well.

Ruth Chris is opening two hours early to host this special event. Starting at 3:00 p.m. I will read fan-selected short stories from Blacklisted from the PTA, followed by time for book singing and meet and greet.

Please let us know you’ll be there by RSVPing to the Facebook Event.

This Little Piggy Went to the Bank

Where I wonder if I’ve done my children a huge fiscal disservice and ultimately decide to leave their financial futures up to genetics. I’m all into science like that. How do you teach your kids about money? Because I fear mine are on their own. The little one with the good genes will be fine. I worry about her brother.

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Live From My Kitchen: Blacklisted Book Trailer

When I launched Blacklisted from the PTA I wanted a killer book trailer, but I figured those were for other people–people with marketing budgets. Then I went to BlogHer where I met Sarah Maizes, who stars in her own fabulous trailer for the long-titled Got Milf?: The Modern Mom’s Guide to Feeling Fabulous, Looking Great, and Rocking a Minivan.

Sarah said, ”You don’t have a book trailer? You HAVE to have a book trailer. Book trailers are so AWESOME! How can you not have a book trailer?” Or something like that. I’m paraphrasing. She also told me to check out Jenna McCarthy. No, not Jenny, Jenna. It’s okay, she’s used to that. Jenna wrote a book with another painfully long title, If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married. (Seriously, ladies, save some words for inside the book.) Jenna’s trailer is adorable, especially the outtakes. So it should be. She has a sponsor, a SEX-product sponsor! I can only wish for such luck.

Hello, Duracell?

My little dream of a book trailer had all but faded when I found out Jessica Bern offered video blog coaching. I had met Jessica in real life at BlogHer too, though we’d known each other for years online. (Go, Facebook!) Anyway, I knew if anyone could help, it was Jessica. So with much Skyping, whining, pain, re-shoots, whining, rewrites, edits, whining, and searching for the perfect cul-de-sac rap, I managed to create this trailer for Blacklisted from the PTA. If you haven’t watched it yet, and shared it with some friends, you should, because it’s kickass.

I could not, would not have done a bit of it without Jessica’s help, patience, and relentless nagging to man up and finish the damn thing already.

So thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Sarah and Jenna (I swear I’m not a full-time stalker.) And thank you, all of you who have already pimped this out on your various networks, pages, posts, tweets, and status updates.

If you would like to create your own slice of awesome embededness, contact Jessica Bern, who will guide you every step of the way. Or, if you’re feeling flush, you can hire her to do it for you.

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