My Ten Pound Baby Is Not
My daughter turned ten last week. She wanted to see her birth certificate so we got out the baby book. There on the first page a blatant error stood out. Her birth announcement read 8 pounds 14 ounces. Shocked that I would make such a mistake I searched for other documentation. The hospital record of birth, her crib identification card, and in the doula’s notes all confirmed her actual birth weight: 8 pounds 14 1/2 ounces. Damn. My second baby, the one who had to be pried out of me under anesthesia, the one with the Apgar score of 1, the one who nearly killed us both was a TEN pound baby. Ten.
Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a tiny bit. But when you have a baby that weighs in a 9 pound 14 1/2 ounces, you are allowed to round up. It’s an ounce and a half for goodness sake. And that’s just what I did, from day one she was a 10 pound baby. I told everyone, have been telling everyone for the last decade that I birthed a ten pound baby. It indicates my kick-ass-ness as a mother and underscores her tomboyish toughness. But she wasn’t just under 10 pounds; she was just under 9 pounds. The fact would not reconcile with my myth.
“I don’t care what it says,” my husband told her. “You’ll always be a ten pounder to me.”
That’s our story and we’re sticking with it.
by Lela Davidson on June 29, 2010
in motherhood, Rugrats, Tweens, & Other Offspring
I totally hear you, Lela. My kids were 30 pounds each, and they were carrying ice picks and grappling hooks with them. I don’t care what that birth announcement says. That’s how it was.
According to Einstein’s special theory of relativity, mass changes with accelleration. In other words, the slower the labor, the heavier the baby. It’s science.
DeNae, mine would have cut their own way out had they had access to that kind of equipement.
John, in that case, she was closer to 20 pounds, unless there is also a why-are-you-too-stubborn-to-take-the-drugs? effect. If so, she was 64.
That is a funny story. When people ask about my baby’s birthweight they follow it with “did you have gestational diabetes”. No, I did not. I just ate what the experts said a pregnant mother should eat, and avoided what should be avoided, and got plenty of rest. My first was 9 lb 7 oz and a difficult labor with epidural, plunging baby heart rate and a vaccuum. I had bad side effects from the epidural and problems after the birth.
The second I wanted natural (to avoid the problems) and used a CNM in a hospital without any medical stuff but was worried of the size of the baby. The doctor said not to worry, no way was the baby over 10 lbs. BS I said. He wound up being 11 lb 11 oz. If I knew that I’d never have been able to push him out, out of fear. LOL
I’m pretty sure mine was at least a kindergartner when she was finally pried under. Sure, her birth certificate says 9 lb 12 oz, but she came out looking and acting a hell of a lot like a feisty kindergartner.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Well, from the perspective of a mom whose kids were all <6 1/2 lbs. at full-term birth (including my DS who was only 5 lbs. 12 oz) a hair under 9 lbs. seems HUGE! None of my kids crossed the 9 lbs. threshold before they were 2 months old. My 3rd was only 9 lbs. 2 oz. at her 3 month checkup, LOL!
Christine – “Did you have gestational diabetes?” Nice! I saw a group of midwives for this pregnancy and there was this one who kept questioning my weight gain. It was substantial but that’s just how it was. She interrogated me about what I ate and finally I had to tell her I wasn’t going on a diet when I was pregnant. Maybe I should have.
Burgh Baby – I’ll bet she was poking you with that little stick from the jar of paste too. At least there was glitter. There was glitter, right?
Crimson – the beauty of a big baby is that they sleep through the night from almost the very beginning. With my first I had to wake him up after six hours to feed him. Your kids must have been what? 3 1/2 before they slept through the night?