Dating at the Prime of Life

For all its pain and suffering, marriage does have one distinct advantage: we don’t have to date. From all I hear it seems really, really, painfully difficult. And it’s not just that I’ve been married so long that I have forgotten what it was like. I never actually dated. I was one of those dreadful girls who just went from one boyfriend to another to my husband with precious few periods of ‘dating’ in between.

I’m not sure I could handle the scene at this age, which–if my friends are to be believed–includes the following:

  • men who have grandchildren, yet still live with their mothers
  • women who run credit reports before the first date
  • limited small town prospects that make dating after divorce feel like getting tossed into a bag of ‘Shake ‘N Bake until someone sticks
  • too-high bikini area maintenance standards
  • modern communication: did he really get my text?
  • so much corporate travel you have to MapQuest your own address when you finally get home
  • the new math required to determine how many dates until…
  • exes and custody schedules

But go on, y’all – date. I enjoy living vicariously through you. I live to give you my bullshit all-knowing advice without having to personally suffer the emotional upheaval it causes. Who knows? You may end up married like me. Then I’ll be very helpful.

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by Lela Davidson on January 15, 2010
in Marriage, Random Amusements

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Comments

9 Responses to “Dating at the Prime of Life”
  1. Lori W says:

    Some of these sound familiar. And you forgot the unicorns! Have I mentioned lately that you’re a brat?

  2. Lori B says:

    Well, at least someone is taking joy in my misery. Dating does suck but I also know some pretty miserable married people and that, my friend, is a hell of a lot more permanent than unicorns, or three ex-wives, or whatever other bizarre stuff they come up with.

  3. Melissa says:

    Dating sounds frightening… I never dated. I only had one boyfriend and we ended up getting married. The notion of trying to date now is scary – and I am VERY grateful that I don’t have to do it!

  4. Lori: I thought the unicorns would unnecessarily identify… a friend.
    Lori: Ouch!
    Melissa: I wish you all the luck in the world. You may be one of the lucky ones. Maybe.

  5. Amber says:

    Oh boy did I date, A LOT! It sucks in your 20s (even when it’s fun…it’s still pretty annoying), I can only imagine how small the “pool” gets as time progresses.

  6. DeNae says:

    I dated a bit in college, but when they started dating each other I realized it was time to stop going out with fellow music majors. So I married the boy next door, who was studying accounting and finance and also was clearly straight, and I never looked back.

    I hope all of those former boyfriends are happy together. I really do.

  7. Candance says:

    Yeah, totally single and totally staying that way. I live in a small town. Dating is dangerous around these parts. Plus, people seem to find the relationship between my ex-husband and me very disturbing because we actually like each other-now anyway. It’s not worth the drama.

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