Cloth Diapers Are Not For Earth Mama Wannabes

I grew up on the west coast. I lived in Seattle when I had my first child. I shopped at Trader Joe’s across the street. I tried to be an Earth Mama, I really did. When my son was born I was determined to at least attempt the cloth diaper route, despite the fear of diaper rash. Even with memories of a smelly white bucket my mom used to rinse out my brothers nasty skivvies, I still tried to be a Good Mother.

I blame the hospital for my failure. Or maybe the custom of circumcision. Who came up with that? See, I had my boy circumcised before we left the hospital (oh yeah, that’s a whole other issue) and so we had to use disposable diapers for the first week or so. That’s what they told us. So I did and everything was fine.

Then came the exciting day of delivery from the diaper service. (Not only is using cloth diapers good for the earth, but any time you can use a service for a household chore it’s a bonus.) They showed up with this enormous stack of diapers and the contraption I was to keep the soiled ones inside until the next week when they swapped out the stinkies for fresh.

I quickly went to work trying out the new diapers. We blew through four outfits that afternoon. Seems I wasn’t quite into the knack of getting the things on properly. Instead of the one little disposable packet I had been managing, I was now faced with maneuvering not only an unwieldy piece of fabric , but also the little plastic pant that went over top. (I’m sure they’re much better now, but was ten years ago and you pretty much needed an engineering degree to figure them out.)

Still, I was determined. I was totally into it until it came time to pack. There’s nothing like timing to help you make a decision. We were off to visit the family for a weekend – two days. I counted out the diapers I’d need. Turns out you go through a LOT more cloth diapers than disposable on account of those throw-away kind hold about a gallon of pee. Cloth diapers hold more like a teaspoon. So here I am with this mountain of diapers on the bed. I filled a whole suitcase with them. Then I took them out of the suitcases, loaded them back into the sack they arrived in, and made a phone call.

Six hours of cloth diapering? Not bad, for a latte sippin‘ Earth Mama Wannabe.