Reflections of 2011, aka Holy Crap I Did All That?

I’ve received a lot of encouragement lately to spend more (okay, SOME) time reflecting on what I have accomplished. This, instead of just charging ahead. So I put it on my to-do list and here I am: Thursday, 10:45 – 11:15, Reflect. And what am I supposed to do, just sit here? No can do. A bullet-pointed list seems in order. We’re coming up on 2012, after all. I wouldn’t want the world to end without a digital record of my accomplishments.

2011, The Recap:

• Started representing Peekaboo magazine on the KFSM 5News ParentingU segment.
• Published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms.
• Presented a session on using Twitter to create community at SheCon new media conference in Miami.
• Published Blacklisted from the PTA, surpassing every single sales goal I set.
• Became a freelance contributor to the Today Show MOMS website.
• Became a columnist for Brooke Burke’s Modern Mom website.
• Pitched a story to Writer’s Digest about how to have a successful book launch party. To appear in the February 2012 issue.
• Released a video book trailer.
• Recorded my first audio essay and posted to this blog.
• Interviewed Wendy Williams for her “After the Show” website feature. They linked to my book.
• Applied for and was granted one of only ten national licenses to produce Listen To Your Mother in Northwest Arkansas.
• Invited to speak at several venues in 2012, including The Divorce Expo in Detroit, the Ozark Writer’s League annual conference in Branson, and the Oklahoma Writer’s Federation annual conference in Oklahoma City.

The Writer’s Workout: Personal Training for Writers

Even though the cover of Christina Katz’ new book, The Writer’s Workout, 366 Tips, Tasks, & Techniques From Your Writing Career Coach, promises a hardcore workout, I couldn’t help but think of the book as more of an indulgence for a leisurely afternoon. Kind of. Because Katz really is my coach (I take writing career instruction from her) I expected to see some familiar advice among the pages, and I knew the advice would be valuable. For writers like me, who do not lack for ideas, but sometimes need direction, Katz’ methods are priceless. She helps us harness all those ideas, choosing which ones will pay off now (or later), leverage our strengths, and manage the sometimes overwhelming world of platform.

Exercise Smarter, Not Harder

Just as a personal trainer helps you work smarter in the gym, not harder, Katz keeps writers on track by getting them to keep thinking and questioning their writing careers, instead of fantasizing about them. What I expected from the book were daily drills, assignments, actions. However, once I finally got to see a copy, I found the book functions more like a daily devotional for writers who want to do more than write. (We want to sell what we write, and we want others to read our writing.) The “assignments” are there, but Katz is a savvy guide. She doesn’t spell things out for us. She can’t. Only we can. That’s the point, and that’s what makes the book so valuable. For example, the Fall section, Become Recognizable, is packed with platform advice. Katz starts off by challenging writers to assess where their platforms are today with a series of ten questions. No answers, but the questions help writers like me plan our own next steps. I might have to mark this page to read once a week because they remind me of things I need to keep thinking about, not one-off actions I can complete in a single sitting.

I expected the book to act like a trainer during a workout. It’s more like post-game, and the two of you are working on tactics for the next time out. Genius. Plus, I love that the ideas are presented quickly, in a page or less, so you’re not wasting any time reading about writing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Get a Copy, Give a Copy

The Writer’s Workout launches in paperback on December 26th (or you can order it on Kindle right now), and it is the perfect gift for any writer on your list. Especially if that writer is you. I would love nothing better than to begin on January 1st, working through the pages one by one. However, I’ll try to be strategic, working through the platform and career development nuggets first. And once I’m done with that I’ll flip back to the start and savor everything there. Beginning again.

Dear FCC: I received an advanced electronic copy of  The Writer’s Workout: 366 Tips, Tasks, & Techniques From Your Writing Career Coach, but I also purchased a real live paper copy of the book to sit on my shelf as a perpetual reminder and reference. Because I just KNOW it’s going to be that good. So there.

Image Credit: Andrew Stawarz, Flickr

Listen to Your Mother, Northwest Arkansas

The first time I heard about Listen to Your Mother, I wanted in.

What is Listen to Your Mother?

Listen to Your Mother features live readings by local writers on the beauty, the beast, and the barely-rested of motherhood, in celebration of Mother’s Day. Born of the creative work of mothers who publish online, each production in this national series is directed, produced, and performed by local communities, for local communities. The mission of each LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER production is to take the audience on a well-crafted journey that celebrates and validates mothering through giving voice to motherhood–in all of its complexity, diversity, and humor. And it’s coming to Northwest Arkansas in 2012!

Why Northwest Arkansas?

Because we rock. It started when I saw that Wendi Aarons was producing Ann Imig‘s Listen to Your Mother (LTYM) in Austin. I wrote to Ann, letting her know how much I loved the idea of the show, and how I’d love to help her bring it to Northwest Arkansas. For the next year I Facebooked and Tweeted her, sent her a copy of Blacklisted from the PTAto review, and took the mic at the LTYM Salon at BlogHer11–all the time reminding Ann how very well LTYM would be received in Northwest Arkansas. Keep in touch, she said.

Then I got the call to action. Ann was adding cities to the 2012 schedule. All I had to do was apply. All I had to do was convince Ann that Northwest Arkansas was the perfect community, I was the perfect one to lead the effort, and that I would have lots and lots of help to make the event a success. No pressure.

And we got it, Northwest Arkansas! We got it!

I’m so excited to work with mother/writers in our community to celebrate the diversity of motherhood. Listen to Your Mother, Northwest Arkansas is going to be amazing. Because you’re all going to be a part of it. Can’t wait. Can. Not. Wait! Stay tuned for specifics, including timing, sponsorship opportunities, volunteer staffing, and auditions.

We’re in Good Company

The 10 cities hosting LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER shows in celebration of Mother’s Day 2012:

AUSTIN: Co-Director/Producers Wendi Aarons and Jennifer Sutton

CHICAGO: Co-Director/Producers Tracey Becker and Melisa Wells

D.C.: Director Stephanie Dulli, Producer Kate Coveny Hood

MADISON: National Director, Ann Imig

NYC: Director Amy Wilson, Producer Varda Steinhardt, Assoc. Producers Holly Fink and Julie Nemitz

NORTHWEST ARKANSAS: Director/Producer Lela Davidson

NW INDIANA: Director/Producer Stephanie Precourt

PHILADELPHIA: Co-Director/Producers Cecily Kellogg and Dresden Shumaker

SAN FRANCISCO: Co-Director/Producers Kim Thompson-Steel and Kirsten Patel

SPOKANE: Director Stacey Conner, Producer Elise Raimi

 

Special thanks to BlogHer for national media sponsorship!

 

Image: Auntie K, Flickr

How My Husband Got Kicked Off My Sales Force

You may have heard I have a book launching next month. July 12th to be precise. Blacklisted from the PTA is available in paperback and Kindle. In case you hadn’t heard. I’m also having this big party to launch the book out into the world in style, and *god willing* sell a bunch of books — like enough to cover the cost of the Asian nut mix and the DJs at this party. I have a team of Uber Salespeople. All my best girlfriends really know how to move product! They set me straight several weeks ago about my meager sales goals.

“That’s your goal for 2011?” one of them said, face all scrinchy like I’d tried to serve her a virgin margarita. “No, no, no. That’s NOT your goal for 2011. It’s the goal for your launch.”

How could I say no to that kind of optimism? So off I went making posters and plans.

Cut to last night. I told my husband I needed to find someone to work checkout, run the credit card swiper. ”I can do it,” offered my sweet, well-meaning better half.

“Oh, no,” I said. “I need you to help with sales. Work your charm on all the ladies.”

“Okay, gotcha,” he said, puffing up. I had already mentally settled on a suitable checker when he added, ”What if somebody wants a refund?”

Seriously? A refund? Is this the first question my top salesman — my only salesMAN — should be asking? I’m not selling ill-fitting tops or outdated meat. It’s a book, MY book. Most of the people coming to the party are personal friends and acquaintances, or at least those who’d like to sell me life insurance.

THERE WILL BE NO REFUNDS. Got it?

That wasn’t the worst. I explained the discounts — you know, the cash incentives that compel people to purchase multiple copies of the most amazing collection of stories ever compiled behind a gratuitous image of legs and stilettos? He looked at me with the scrinchy face.

And said…

“Why would anyone buy more than one copy?”

My turn for the scrinchy face.

“Are you kidding me?” I said, “Friends, sisters, moms, birthdays, stocking stuffers, hostess gifts book clubs—”

Followed by his stop-acting-like-a-crazy-bitch calming gestures.

“Okay, okay. I didn’t know your marketing plan.”

My marketing plan, to be clear, is this: sell a lot of books.

So if you’re coming to the party, my husband will be easy to spot. He’ll be the one running the credit cards.

Image Credit: meghannash, Flickr

More About the Joys of Marriage:

• Showered in Miscommunication
• Match.com’s Got Nothing on This
• I Frighten My Husband, Daily

How I’m Using Twitter Now

It started before the shuttle left the airport curb on my way to SheCon in Miami last weekend:

“I know you. I follow you on Twitter.”

Once I got over my delighted surprise, I asked her name. It’s only polite to follow back, after all. That’s when it got complicated.

“Well, my name is Cindy Harper but I go by Schnizzle on Twitter, and on my blog I’m Carmen Miranda Flowerbottom.” And from there we moved on to the confusion of avatars.

Despite our differences, I’m crushing on Twitter. Hard. This is how I’m using it now.

Use Twitter Consistently

I’m not talking about a schedule here, although I do recommend having some kind of plan for how you’ll interact with your followers on a regular basis. No, I’m talking about the name, identity, avatar thing. What is the point of your tweets? As I mentioned in my presentation at SheCon, I think Twitter is like a bar (or wholesome-meeting-place of choice). It’s a great place to connect with a stranger, or wave “Hey!” at an acquaintance, but in order to develop those relationships, you need to move it to another platform. This is made exponentially more difficult if I can’t make the connection between your Twitter life, whatever else you’re offering (online or off), and most importantly – YOU the person behind it all. Be consistent. Pick a name and stick with it. And please please please upload a picture somewhere that actually looks like YOU – not the you of 15 years ago, or the you you could afford if only you’d married him instead of him – I want to see YOU.

Use Twitter Often

I admit, I’m tweeting a whole lot more than I was before last week. Part of that is because I’ve made new friends and you know how that is – “No YOU’RE fabulous!” “No YOU are!” Smiley emoticons litter the twittosphere. But it’s more than that. Making these new friends who are so much “better” at Twitter than I am has been enlightening. I’m starting to get Twitter on a whole new level. And I like it. Even though I’ve talked a good game, like so many I have been afraid to really dive into the river. I held onto a false assumption that I’d drown in the current. Not so. I was fortunate to meet social media master Ted Rubin at SheCon. Holy crap – watching that guy work, on the screens and with real live people, was amazing. When I asked him if it wasn’t a tremendous amount of pressure – being available and responsive to so many (more than 50k followers) so often, he said sure, sometimes. He also pointed out that Twitter is a push media. It gets quiet quickly when you’re not putting something out there for people to respond to. Which leads me to my next point.

Use Twitter Pre- and Post-Event

If I thought I had to use Twitter in the same way I have been at the conference and all this week, I might feel overwhelmed. No, I would feel overwhelmed. And I would say, screw it. Can you relate? But stick with me – the beauty of the medium is that I can use it to connect with people quickly who have a shared interest, in this case conference goers. With one or two exceptions, every single person I really got to know at SheCon was someone who I traded tweets with before the conference. Some of us had moved onto the second base of Facebook before the weekend’s events. This helped us fast forward – once we met face-to-face – almost directly to the important stuff, like how we might be of service to one another’s businesses. (What? You thought blogger conferences were all about showing off pictures of Billy with a Binky?)

Use Twitter Casually

It’s always fun to make new friends, and doing so has definitely infused me with renewed energy and fun. Twitter can be fun. And relax, really. It’s 140 characters. How much damage can you do? I’m also using TweetDeck mobile a lot more so I can respond quickly. And I’m trying to use Twitter in a similar way to the way I use Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my Facebook – and I will still try to convert friends on Twitter to the platform where I feel more comfortable, but Aliza Sherman was correct in her presentation about new social tech: These apps have a way of growing on you.

Image: Funkdooby, Flickr

Flexibility vs. Structure

I’m flexible, most of the time. I like to think so anyway. This week Christina Katz wrote about the need for writers to be flexible, yet maintain a backbone. In order for me to be creative–whether that’s expressed in the writing or the marketing or just the way I get it all done–I need a lot of infrastructure. A lot. (And I’m not talking about my Spanx.) There is an intricate matrix of lists, spreadsheets, and yes–Post It’s–holding this show together. There are more boxes and timelines than I’d be proud to show you. But that’s okay. They are creation too.

Sometimes, though, I need more flexibility. I need to break out of the systems that have helped me get this far. I leave the lists behind and let the flow of my days dictate what gets accomplished and when. I give my room, unconcerned with the demands of those constricting lists. This works, for a time. It opens up new opportunities. And then something flips. My life starts to feel like all those post its.  Suddenly I have so much to do that strict priorities become important again, and with them, all those lists.

Plus, I have a love hate relationship with Post Its. Love the ability to capture snippets of ideas to keep at the ready. Hate to have suspended thoughts lying around with no concrete plan for execution.

For me, the beauty of organization and structure is that once I have it in place, I am free to work within it without anxiety and overwhelm. When I’ve taken the time to plan, I can relax, confident that the important things will get done, in time. And by relax, I mean work my ass off on projects I truly enjoy. I work my lists until they no longer work for me, and then I’ll get super flexible again, toss out the old, and get to work creating the new.

To me, that’s flexibility.

What does being flexible mean to you?

Image: GuLangYu Island Life, Flickr

The BIG List of NWA Women’s Organizations

I’m hoping to create a complete list of women’s organizations in Northwest Arkansas. The intended end result is a list that is helpful to newcomers and long-time residents looking to connect, as well as being a resource to anyone interested in speaking to these groups. I need your help! Pretty please

The criteria for this list are simple:

• members aged 25-55
• meet on a regular basis, in need of speakers
• meet in or around Northwest Arkansas

Please leave additions in the comments and I’ll make sure to add them to the list!

Thanks!

• Fayetteville Junior Civic League
• Hispanic Women’s Organization of Arkansas
• Junior League of Northwest Arkansas
• MOMS Club of Bella Vista
• MOMS Club of Fayetteville
• MOPS Rogers
• NWA Playgroup
• Professional Women’s Network, Benton County
• Professional Women’s Network, Washington County
• Tyson Women’s Business Resource Group
• Walmart Women’s Business Resource Group
• Womenade NWA

Subjectivity in Publishing

This is for anyone who writes, or anyone who wants to write. The rest of you should go back to your previously scheduled programming.

Few of us struggle with words strictly for ourselves. We may not aspire to the New York Times Bestseller list, or even to make money from our writing, but most of us want other people to read the words we have wrenched from our very souls. (Too much?)

Anyway, this is about subjectivity. You hear it all the time – that publishing is an extremely subjective business. There is usually one person at a time who decides if your work moves on to the next set of eyes, the next step in the publishing process. And this process can involve many such judgments along the way.

To give you an example, I entered a story in a contest at this year’s Oklahoma Writer’s Federation Conference. It’s probably my favorite short story that I have written. Short, simple, sad, and centered on a young girl’s abortion. I entered it last year in the same contest and it received a score of 99/100. Great score, right? And the comments – raving. However, since there were so many entries to the short story category, my 99 didn’t merit 1st through 3rd place, or any of the eight honorable mentions. On the bright side, because it didn’t place in the contest I was allowed to submit it again this year. So I did. And it scored…. ready?

68/100

The comments, as you can imagine, were not complimentary.

Maybe it was my subject matter and the fact that I live in Bibleland, USA, or maybe it was the writing. Either way: publishing is subjective. Never doubt it.

99 or 68 – it’s still my favorite.

When the Villain is a Husband

One of the most important things about creating believable fictional characters is to avoid making them one-dimensional. Real people aren’t simple, and you never want story people who are either all good or all bad. This comes up a lot at our writers’ critique group meetings.

Recently one woman was going on and on about how there’s nothing she hates worse than some mustache twirling villain that’s just one hundred percent bad. I reminded her that she had no trouble accepting the cheating spouse in my novel who is also stupid, vain, and terrible in bed.

“Oh that’s different,” she says. “That was a husband.”

Disclaimer: The quotations reported in this blog reflect the opinions of those who said them. (Which is why they’re anonymous.) They do not necessarily reflect the view of the blog writer, who is at this writing happily married, to a man who–it’s probably best–doesn’t read this blog anyway.