My Favorite Funny Mom Blogs

I have finally gotten around to adding some links to my new blogroll. (Down there, on the right.) Go for a laugh and let them know you found them here on After The Bubbly!

Crazy Texas Mommy manages to mock the Stepford moms and the tatted granola parents at her kids meet the teacher nights. Sure, but did she piss off the office staff too? She still has a little to learn from this PTA mom.

Wendi Aarons makes me laugh out loud every time, but especially with this ode to back tats. And reminds me why I have no ink.

Jessica Bern is trying to survive single motherhood, her family of origin, and dating the under-employed. Now if only she could find her keys.

Okay – I promise to add more soon. These are my favorites.

Would You Sell Your Sex Life for $20?

 

The following classified recently ran in my local paper:

Needed for research
University of Arkansas – Psych. Dep. seeks romantic couples to participate in interviews on relationship and sexual satisfaction. Couples will get $20 gift cards. 

Whoa, now. Twenty bucks? How romantic do you suppose a couple would have to be to consider this a date night activity? And where do you think the gift card is redeemable? Harp’s? One can only hope it’s a pre-paid Visa.

I wonder if the couples will have make up sex after the fight over how to spend the $20.

Sounds like a follow up interview.

Pass the Bubbly: Green Ink and Links

Okay, so I need a little help today. First, the light green header and link ink – is it annoying or is that just my you’re-almost-forty-who-are-you-trying-to-kid eyes? Second, are you enjoying these links? Because I’ll tell you what – if you think it’s just my sorry way of slacking off and not writing a post then we are on exactly the same wave length.

However, turns out it takes far more time for me to choose and post links than to rattle off some smart mouthed comment or humiliating detail of my children’s lives. So just let me know, please. If you like the links, I’ll add more. And if not, well I’ll just have to find another way to spend my mornings…..

In the meantime, check out these funny women:

• When Jessica’s daughter goes away for a week, she tries to spice up her pathetic life with some domestic projects and unsuccessful fliration. Similarly, with my kids away at day camp, I am finding myself wasting the days on watching reality shows on MTV. And we all know those are not the good ones.
• New advice site Mouthy Housewivesis great. And it ain’t no Dear Abby. Both Wendi Aarons and Jessica Bern, who I link to a lot, contribute to this sassy online advice column.
• Ah… marriage… what would we be without our significant others to tell us just how ridiculous we really are? Wendi Aarons may be a hypochondriac, but as long as we all get a laugh out of it, I say it’s healthy.
• Sugar knows how to camp, right out back in the community garden. Okay, so she was just testing out the tent. But I really like this post because it reminds me of our recent camping debacle that climaxed in our driving home from the lake at midnight. I’m sure nothing like that will happen to Sugar Jones.
• The Homesteading Housewife has a cautionary tale to anyone who has passed through the grocery store doors to pick up ‘just a few things’ refusing the cart and the basket. Bad things can happen. Prosecutable things.
• I absolutely cannot wait to hear Crazy Texas Mommy’s adventures in PTA. Watch out ladies, Candance has signed the clipboard.

Where Do Watermelons Come From?

Remember when watermelons had seeds? When I was a kid, all watermelons had shiny black seeds. But not long ago we started having to make a choice at the grocery store. The seedless watermelons would be off in some special bin and cost a couple bucks more than your regular black seed variety. And if you’re like me, you chose the seedy ones because they’re redder, and prettier, and generally taste better. Or maybe because you didn’t want to spring for that extra two dollars and you secretly enjoy spitting out the seeds and acting like a country girl. Plus, if you get the seedy melons, you can issue those dire warnings to your kids about not swallowing the seeds or else a watermelon vine would grow in their bellies. And if they were still very young they believed us for a moment before they started giggling.

But now there are no seeds, no choice between seedy or seedless – at least not where I shop. It’s just a bin of watermelons. Take it or leave it.

As my husband was enjoying a slice over the sink last night, he looked at me all serious and said,

“So – if there are no seeds…..? “

Seriously – is there a watermelon stork? Did we create the Best Watermelon Ever and clone it? Are we just using up the world inventory and when they’re gone they’re gone? What is the future of the watermelon?

Pass the Bubbly: Kirk, Michael, and Me

Read more

Pass the Bubbly: What do Kate Gosselin, Gene Rayburn, and Metallica Have in Common?

Okay – Kate Gosselin, Gene Rayburn, and Metallica have nothing in common other than being included in this edition of Pass the Bubbly. That’s what we’re calling these link posts from now on. So if you know of any funny people who need some bubbly links, let me know.

• Wendi Aarons totally agrees with me on the whole Kate Gosselin hair thing. And she’s having six more kids to get hotter. Plus, she has a new website and we love her so please check her out here: http://wendiaarons.com/.
• I just found Citizen of the Month. In this post he ponders the ever evolving etiquette of meeting in public.
• Boob, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper has me terrified of summer vacation already.
• Anyone who admits to a crush on Gene Rayburn deserves our attention.
• YesButNotYes found Legos rocking out to Metallica. Make sure you watch until the end – otherwise you’ll miss the mosh pit.

I hope you enjoy, and if you can find any other connections between Kate, Ray, and the boys of speed metal, please share.

Easter, Therapy, and Deadly Legumes

Here are some of the things that amused me this week.

• Wendi Aarons threw down the new rules for Easter Egg hunts.
• Jessica Bern reminds us to think twice before asking for the credit card customer service manager.
• Sugar Jones implores us to resist the draw of the sexy Peekaroo.
• Munchausen by Peanut – Laura Bennet and the rant I wish I’d written.

Who else should we be reading?

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