Reflections of 2011, aka Holy Crap I Did All That?
by Lela Davidson on December 29, 2011
in It's All About Me, writing
I’ve received a lot of encouragement lately to spend more (okay, SOME) time reflecting on what I have accomplished. This, instead of just charging ahead. So I put it on my to-do list and here I am: Thursday, 10:45 – 11:15, Reflect. And what am I supposed to do, just sit here? No can do. A bullet-pointed list seems in order. We’re coming up on 2012, after all. I wouldn’t want the world to end without a digital record of my accomplishments.
2011, The Recap:
- Started representing Peekaboo magazine on the KFSM 5News ParentingU segment.
- Published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: New Moms.
- Presented a session on using Twitter to create community at SheCon new media conference in Miami.
- Published Blacklisted from the PTA, surpassing every single sales goal I set.
- Became a freelance contributor to the Today Show MOMS website.
- Became a columnist for Brooke Burke’s Modern Mom website.
- Pitched a story to Writer’s Digest about how to have a successful book launch party. To appear in the February 2012 issue.
- Released a video book trailer.
- Recorded my first audio essay and posted to this blog.
- Interviewed Wendy Williams for her “After the Show” website feature. They linked to my book.
- Applied for and was granted one of only ten national licenses to produce Listen To Your Mother in Northwest Arkansas.
- Invited to speak at several venues in 2012, including The Divorce Expo in Detroit, the Ozark Writer’s League annual conference in Branson, and the Oklahoma Writer’s Federation annual conference in Oklahoma City.
Girls Trip, New York City Style
by Lela Davidson on December 14, 2011
in It's All About Me, Reviews
This post is sponsored by Serve from American Express. Sign up for Serve and receive $10 credit towards your first use. Comment below within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account!
A friend of mine is getting married in February, and although we would have loved to humiliate her with half naked men in the City of Sin, she wanted a pre-wedding celebration in New York City. No arguments from me. I combined a little work with a lot of play. Soon we, her friends, were emailing a blur of schemes and plans, trying to fit in all the things Our Girl wanted to do in the city.
Holiday Hair: Myth or Magic?
by Lela Davidson on December 6, 2011
in It's All About Me
Very disturbing news in the inbox today. I have been invited to write about my “go-to” holiday hairstyle. Upsetting not only because I do not personally possess such a thing, but also because I had no idea this was a thing. So now, in addition to having a) no failsafe holiday hair, and b) zero invitations to impromptu events requiring “holiday hair,” I also have to spend the rest of the season feeling inferior in the knowledge that others have both. Also, I am now obsessed with something called a sock bun. Thanks a lot, BlogHer.
So now I’m supposed to post about my go-to holiday hairstyle.
Um… clean?
My best friend in high school had an older sister who was a hairdresser. When I was sixteen she cut layers into my permed hair and told me about a technique she’d seen demonstrated at a recent hair show. At the end of the cut the stylist rubbed the client’s head around in his crotch and threw her back upright. He called it “the freshly f-cked look, direct from Dallas.”
Theatrical, yes. Perhaps I was unduly influenced, but ever since then I figure the messier the better. No hairstyle survives a good time, anyway. That’s not really a go-to holiday hairstyle, is it? Maybe some tinsel would help?
Surely, you have a better suggestion than mine – you should leave it in the comments here, or just do what the woman in the video does– you know, if you have those horrible long, thick locks. While you’re at it, enter to win $250 in BlogHer’s Life Well Lived sweepstakes. I did. Because mama needs some blowout.
Image Credit: hansvandenberg30, Flickr
Farewell, Beloved Liquid Liner
by Lela Davidson on December 5, 2011
in It's All About Me, Reviews
Thanks to L’Oreal for sponsoring my post about my favorite beauty looks, tips and tricks! Check out Makeup.com for beauty advice from the experts.
I have been enjoying smoky eyes, black eyeshadow, and liquid liner for a while. Maybe too long. It’s time for a change. I never want to be one of those cosmetic tragedies who get stuck in a look far past its time. I’ve seen too many makeover shows, not to mention trips to Walmart. I have always loved makeup.
Milestones in my personal makeup history:
1970: Skipped the Bonnie Belle and practiced with mom’s considerable makeup collection (some of which I guarantee I could find in her bathroom today.)
1984 – Listened to Van Halen and Def Leppard; embraced the look. No 8th grader needs black eyeliner. No two 8th graders need to share eyeliner in the bathroom at school. Try as we did, Pink Eye Chic never caught on at Vista Middle School.
Girlfriends Are Good Medicine
by Lela Davidson on November 30, 2011
in It's All About Me
I was excited about turning forty, and confused, and terrified, and unsure about my future in facial fillers.
My hormones didn’t help.
Generally, I’m not a very emotional person. I’m too busy for that crap, and frankly I think you should be too. But then came forty. I became extremely emotional, my periods got off their atomic-clock-accurate schedule, my heart raced, I couldn’t sleep, and I swear I had hot flashes.
Also, I wanted sex all the time. Like, every minute. In many ways it felt like adolescence, which was why I knew it had to be hormonal.
Did I mention the terribly painful and repulsive acne that plagued my jawline? That’s what sent me to the dermatologist, who confirmed that yes, there was definitely something going on with my hormones.
My regular doctor pulled up a hormone levels chart on her iPhone. The multiple lines rising and falling erratically looked about right, but offered no answers beyond ruling out my thyroid. Maybe it was the impending Big Birthday that had me thinking menopause, or peri-menopause, as we 40-is-the-new-17 like to call it.
It’s not that I thought I was actually entering my post-menstrual years. I could still Duggar-Up and procreate if I really had to. (Okay, I couldn’t, but that’s a whole other story.) But I knew what was happening to me was somehow related to the complicated mix that comes with being a woman.
So I googled frantically for symptoms of peri-menopause, switched to soy milk, and annoyed everyone I knew with my theories. They responded like this:
- My friends shunned the mention of the M word. They literally turned their bodies away from me, clutching their collective uteri and crying “NO! You are WAY too young for that!”
- My husband didn’t “buy it.” As you might imagine, this triggered my emotion of Anger, in a big way.
- The only women who would entertain the idea that my changes could possibly be menopause related were women who had been there. Instead of turning away, women in their 50s and 60s offered knowing nods. While it was comforting to have my suspicions validated, they offered little additional comfort. You might have symptoms for a couple of weeks, they said, and then you go two years with nothing.
The people at Pfizer believe that “It’s time to rediscover your best self. It’s time to return to you.”
Don’t forget to check out Pfizer’s Page on Blogher.com to read other blogger “Return to You” stories, and prepare to be inspired!
Dear FCC: I was compensated for this post, but you’re smart, you figured that out already.
Sexy or Sexist: My MissRepresentation
by Lela Davidson on November 22, 2011
in Blacklisted from the PTA, It's All About Me
I watched the award-winning independent film MissRepresentation last month. The producers are building a movement of awareness around the themes of the film and unlike those occupying streets and parks across the country, this cause asks proponents to take real actions toward advancing their goals.
Among all the unsettling information presented in the movie, there was one statistic that really made me want to get involved.
Read the rest of this post on ModernMom.
He’s a Smooth Talker, Clearly
by Lela Davidson on September 20, 2011
in It's All About Me, Marriage
When I started representing Peekaboo Magazine on the morning news earlier this year, I immediately went to Target to stock up on liquid foundation and extra blush. On my assigned Mondays I have gotten up at 4:45, plastered on a TV-worthy mask, and tried to be perky for the cameras. It’s fun, I’ve learned a lot, including the fact that people who look small on TV are actually of the Elfin race. I now understand eating disorders and addictions to plastic surgery. Let’s just say hi-def keeps you humble.
The news segments continue to be a wonderful experience, but one thing had to change: the drag queen makeup. I had been toying with the idea of toning down the makeup for weeks and then I got the perfect opportunity. I had to work a shift for a school fundraiser immediately following my last appearance. I’d be sorting books in a dusty warehouse, with a bunch of moms I’d never met. I feared My Dancing with the Stars look would not be well received.
So I wielded a lighter hand. With the exception of a little extra blush, I wore the same makeup I wear on any other day. (Okay, the days I actually shower and get dressed in something more than yoga pants.)
As soon as I’d finished at school, I came home and watched the clip, which of course is not hi-def. I asked my husband later if he’d watched the news that morning.
“Yeah, depressing topic.”
“I know. How did I look?”
He knows the answer to this one. “You looked great.”
“Thanks, but did I look different?”
Flashes of terror, confusion, and decision moved over his face. “Yes,” he said.
“I’m not asking you to say I looked different. I want to know if I did.”
“You looked great.”
“But did I look different. Because I did my makeup differently.”
“Uh… yeah, you did.”
“What did I look like?”
“You looked… clean.”
As opposed to all those others times I’ve been on video looking like a dirty girl? “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know. You just looked really clear.”
“Like I was in HD?”
“Exactly!”
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Strollergate: Was a New York Mom Really Shoplifting?
by Lela Davidson on August 23, 2011
in It's All About Me, motherhood
Grocery shopping is not a crime. Except when it is.
I often pick up more than I can carry at the grocery store. With a toddler in tow, I might stick a bottle of Heinz in my pocket, hoping I remember to produce the concealed condiment for the cashier. (That’s a risk I take when I fool myself into thinking I can get in and out with just a hand-held basket.)
However, here in the suburbs of Rogers, Ark., most food shopping involves a cart the size of my first car, which makes accidental theft less likely. Countless times I’ve almost walked out of the Super Center with a case of Diet Coke and a pallet of Charmin, but those are easy to spot on the lower rack of the cart.
Click here to read the rest of this post on the Today Show Moms blog.
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Miss You, Babe
by Lela Davidson on August 18, 2011
in It's All About Me, Marriage
Okay, so maybe he didn't drink ALL my liquor.
When I am out of town my husband rents Angelina Jolie movies, smokes too many cigars, goes fishing, and… apparently drinks my liquor. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
A couple of weeks ago I went to California to promote Blacklisted from the PTA and to attend, for my very first time, BlogHer. The kids went to grandma’s house, leaving my husband free to his leisure time activities. As you can see from the list above, these are few.
The second night into the conference I got an email — something about sitting on the deck and cool drinks going down smooth on a Saturday afternoon. First of all, that girly cocktail was sent to ME by the kindly LADIES (sensing a theme?) at The Balancing Act for ME to sample. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about sharing, but when my husband had called earlier in the week to tell me the Cuervo had arrived, I didn’t think his Patron-on-ice tequila-sipping-snob self would break into the sweet stuff.
He was drinking WATERMELON margarita, my Jolly Rancher flavored chick mix. What was next, sucking down blueberry Jello shots? Not cool, Better Half.
I soon learned that even she-drinks can go to a boy’s head. When I called to check in before going out for the evening’s [mild] debauchery, my husband told me he was “checking out” my pictures on Facebook.
“You’re stalking me?”
“I guess so.”
“Like if we weren’t married, you’d be looking at my photos like I’m some hot chick?”
Not that I would know about that sort of thing.
Okay, you got me. There was that one guy from high school who “liked” some of my pictures but I swear I unfriended him as soon as he sent me that creepy message. Fine, I unfriended him after the chat where he showed me his–
How did we get so off topic?
Tequila. Yes, that was it. And Facebook pictures. There are some great shots on there. At my birthday party, dancing with my BFFs, at the book launch…
“I love this one of you in the parade,” he said. “With the kids.”
“You mean the one where my hair is a mess, I’m wearing no makeup, and I’m holding up the PTA banner?”
“That is a really good picture of you.”
Poor guy. He really did miss me. To prove his love, he saved all of the sugar-free stuff for me, which was even better mixed with the so-many-calories-they-won’t-even-print-it-on-the-label watermelon drink. But it’s not like I have to watch my weight. I’m the hot chick in the PTA parade, remember?
More Stories That Make My Husband Wish I Was Still a CPA:
Image: Lela Davidson
Dear FCC: The nice people at The Balancing Act and Cuervo liquored me up in exchange for this anecdote. Send me some free airwaves and I’ll write about you, too.
BillMyParents, TrackMySpouse – Tomato, Tomahto
by Lela Davidson on August 16, 2011
in It's All About Me, Random Amusements
I had the very good fortune of working with an innovative brand at BlogHer11 in San Diego earlier this month. The BillMyParents Mastercard is a reloadable debit card that is marketed to parents of teens because of its ability to track spending and the balance online, therefore allowing parents to take advantage of the many teachable moments between freshman year and freshman year.
As a parent of a teenager, I find the service attractive.
As the friend of women whose husbands have cheated on them, I can’t help but ponder other uses for the card’s many fine features.
Instant Messaging
Parents can set up the BillMyParents card to send instant alerts with every swipe. You might use this data to teach your kid to buy Whoppers at the grocery store on the way to the theater… OR you might want a heads up that your spouse has checked into the Homewood Suites at four in the afternoon.
Centralized Gifting
Friends and family can use the BillMyParents card to send birthday and Christmas gifts. This is a great alternative to collecting all those iTunes and Target cards… OR it could be the perfect place to deposit your husband’s allowance. No money, no hos, I always say.
Remote Locking
The remote lock feature is a convenient feature for teens who might be prone to misplace their plastic. Instead of panicking when a card goes missing, you simply log on and freeze the card… OR you stop that lap dance mid-hip roll.
The BillMyParents campaign encourages getting rid of the dirty old men–the dead presidents on our cash–in favor of trackable plastic. Wronged spouses can stop the dirty old men closer to home, because, truly, it’s tough to fit a card reader in a g-string.
TrackMySpouse. Watch for it.
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Dear FCC: Although BillMyParents did compensate me to represent their brand at BlogHer11, I’m certain this is not even close to what they had in mind.
