April Showers Bring Spring Flowers

Wow, it’s been busy. I think I said that last month, and it’s even truer now. In fact, these recaps are an important way for me to keep track of what I’ve done and where I’m going. Some fun things that happened in April.

• My essay “When You Want to Run Away” appeared in Houston Family Magazine.
• Admitted that I sometimes just roll my eyes and sigh when my children lie to me in April for Today Show Moms.
• Represented my adopted state of Arkansas for iVillage.
• “Earth Mama Wannabe,” a chronicle of my battle with cloth diapers, was published in metroparent in Milwaukee.
• “The Case of the Easter Bunny” hopped into Broward Family Life.
• Hit the front page of Today.com and msn.com with my commentary on helicopter parenting and crawling helmets for babies.
• Considered the financial factors involved in staying home and going back to work after baby for Chicago Parent.
• Helped parents make friends with Facebook for Atlanta Parent, San Diego Family, and Savvy Kids in Little Rock.
• Presented strategies to prevent cyber-bullying and control the damage of its effects for Piedmont Family Magazine.
• Told the world the very stupid thing my kids learned to do on YouTube for Today Show Moms.
• Attended and sold books at the Missouri Writer’s Guild annual conference. With the guidance of Claire Cook, Christina Katz, and Christie Craig, I came away with a focus I’ve been lacking. Thanks to these ladies, I now know better what I do best.
• My “Car Trouble” was featured in ParentsSource magazine in Pennsylvania.
• Met with several brands, wrote lots of proposals, and signed our first clients for Peekaboo Media Group.
• Presented a session, “Social Media for Beginners” and participated on the social media panel at the Oklahoma Writers Federation Conference (OWFI).
• Blacklisted from the PTA won the OWFI award for Best Non-Fiction Book of the Year!
• And then there was Listen To Your Mother, which I can say without too much exaggeration, was transformative.

Images: Megan Clemence Photography, Today.com

 

 

My Wardrobe Secret: Let Others Choose

I hate shopping. Really, I do. Unless it’s for food or maybe during some odd phase of Jupiter circling the Moon of Target, I don’t enjoy it. Shopping for clothing is the worst, which is why I usually put it off until I have a very specific need. This accounts for the few sweaters in my closet that you might pry off my cold dead body sooner than convince me are past their prime. And yet… somehow I manage to look not terrible most of the time. I think.

My secret: Let others choose.

Getting dressed has become much more frustrating since my daughter turned about six and started telling me what was what. But I’m also getting better at it. I’m anticipating her reaction, and basing [some] of my wardrobe decisions on it.

But what’s better than a [now] tween daughter to help you get dressed? Very stylish friends.

I’ve been looking especially cute this spring thanks to some help from my business partners in Peekaboo Media Group. With minimal direction (no bare arms, don’t make me look short) they picked out several ensembles for a recent photo shoot. Even better: Dillard’s gave us a discout on anything from the shoot. I bought the key pieces, added a little mixing and matching with the help of my daugther, and set out for my most fashionable season ever. I think.

My secret is simple. It’s the same for clothing, wine, and entrees at dark restaurants with menus that have too-small font: Let others choose.

What makes you feel cute? Head over to Life Well Lived on BlogHer and join the conversation. There are prizes!

March Madness & April Fun

It’s been a busy month here. Busier than usual, I think. Maybe it’s the weather. It’s hard to believe that we are through Spring Break and looking forward to summer. Today I spent the day on the lake, I slathered myself in sunscreen and spent the day eating salty snacks, drinking cheap beer, reading and sleeping – and it didn’t feel a day before June.

• “Promises To My Teenagers” appeared in Peekaboo Magazine and Pittsburgh Parent. This caused a bit of a scuffle over pizza, when my daughter objected to my reference to ugly hair. No worries, I made it up to her with The Hunger Games.
• Delivered the keynote speech on the first day of The Divorce Expo on March 25th in Novi, Michigan. You 2.0: Because Life’s Too Short to Stay Tied in a Knot. I think they liked me, especially the woman who asked me to make a Me 2.0 t-shirt. That’s on the list ;)
• Blacklisted from the PTA was honored as Best Humor book and Best Non-Fiction Book of the Year by Readers Views.
• Considered the merits of consuming one’s own placenta for TODAY Show Moms.
• Explored potential tattoos for my golden years for TODAY Show Moms.
• Gave Arkansas women a voice for iVillage, after our fair state was rated… not favorably, compared to some others.
• Started a company. You heard me. Peekaboo Media Group was born this month. That’s us in the picture up there.
• Contributed “Top 5 Ways to Save Money in the Kitchen” for Chicago Parent’s Your Money feature.
• Sold a reprint about teaching kids about cash and credit to Austin Family Magazine, which they were able to adapt into a television news segment! Love that. (See the segment below.)
• “Portrait of a Junk Drawer” was published in the spring issue of BC Parent.

Austin Family: Kids and Credit: MyFoxAUSTIN.com

 

On Newsstands Now

“The Case of the Easter Bunny” in ParentsSource and Broward Family Life.

“Confessions of an Earth Mama Wannabe” in metroparent.

“Cyber-Bullying: 6 Strategies for Prevention and Damage Control” in Savvy Kids.

“When You Want to Run Away” in Houston Family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Do You Face Fears?

 

Honored to be included in guest over on Life After Tampons. Jennifer Boykin wanted to know how I get past fear, to realize my “big dreams.” How do I know? I suppose if the fear is something that can be associated with achieving a big dream, it’s not a real fear anyway. It’s a fakey first world kind of fear like “they might not like me” or “everyone’s going to find out I don’t know WTF I’m doing.” As opposed to your practical fears, such as “wonder if that water will make me shit my guts out” and “wow, that machete looks sharp.”

Head on over to Life After Tampons for mine and many other approaches to the question of fear. (The picture will make sense if you do.)

PS – Just to be clear, I’m not quite old enough for “Life After Tampons,” but I’m taking it as a compliment that I was invited to participate. Like, on account of I’m wise, and stuff.

Image: star5112, Flickr

From Blacklist to A-List! First Literary Award

 

Couldn’t be happier to announce that Blacklisted from the PTA has been honored two literary awards from Reader Views.

My humble essay collection took First Place in the Humor category, and–in a huge surprise–also snagged the Reviewers Choice Best Nonfiction Book of the Year!

Many thanks to all who have supported Blacklisted and me.

If you’re interested in how I did it, please vote with your click to see me present at BlogHer12 in “So, You Want to Write a Book.”

Special Event Look: Live from My Bathroom

Thanks to Walgreens for underwriting this post. I was paid as a member of the Clever Girls Collective, but the content is all mine. Visit http://www.discoverbeautywithin.com/

Let the magic begin

Other girls go to the spa, the salon, maybe the MAC counter. All I need to go from sad to special is a trip to Walgreen’s. Here is my “sad” look. I think the hockey mom shirt enhances the overall housewife milieu. Them are crystals y’all. (That will make sense later, I promise.)

I don’t know if you can see those grey hairs, but there are quite a few. I don’t love them, but I would like to pause for a moment of gratitude that they are not those squiggly kind. They are nice and smooth little previews of my golden years. So far. Still, I prefer a dark and warm tone. Bring on the color. I know, I know, “You color your own hair?” But here’s the thing – I used to have very short hair. Very. I think we can all agree the GI Jane look of 2006 was a severe breakdown in communication between my beloved stylist and myself. Anyway, having kept short hair for many years, I always self-colored. This, on the logic that if I screwed it up, I’d just get it cut off.

When I started to grow the new hair, I kept the old routines. Last time I got my haircut I asked my stylist if I needed to switch to professional coloring. He looked over both shoulders before whispering quickly, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”

 

Yes, that is the cheap stuff, and yes, it works just fine.

Velcro is the New Hot

I have burnt out my share of hot roller sets. Today’s electric rollers are nothing more than warm and miss the old burning hair scent, and the way hair spray would cake around the edges of the heating elements. [Big Sigh]

But what I love about the velcro rollers is that they are fat. Because for this particular special event, I wanted Texas hair.

I think I got it. what do you say? Very GCB? Y’all?

 

My Spring Fashion Trend: Carry On Luggage

Will you take me shopping? Seriously, I hate it. Ask anyone. Very rarely I catch the wardrobe shopping mood and then, watch out! I make up for lost time. Still, I don’t enjoy it and usually end up with some unfortunate choices that may or may not be returnable. What I need is a stylist, and a personal shopper, and my very own tryer-onner.

Except for those shoes. I will try those on any day. And if you want to be my Loubou sponsor, I will buy them, too.

Back here in reality I have a lot of travel scheduled this spring. A girl wants to be cute, especially when one travels with Facebook enthusiasts. Also, I like to travel light, so I need things that work together.

Left to my own fashion sense, I’d stick with the tried and true white t-shirt with black slacks and a cardigan. So I decided to consult Pinterest for the latest fashion trends this spring. Stuff I learned:

• Bright colors are in. Cool.
• Metallics are in. Could be time to pull out the silver bag.
• Jackets over dresses a la Annie Hall and Elaine Benes appear to be making a come back. Tread carefully, Short Girl.
• Wedges still rock. Yes!
• Pattern skinny jeans? Not going to happen.
• Something called peplum is popular. I *think* that’s a waistline, and I *think* I could pull it off.
• Iris Apfel is amazing.

 

 

Crampy Sex, Male Aim, and Other Junk

What do these things have in common? Not much, other than they have been on my mind lately.

• If you cramp up during sex, you may want to hydrate. And have a banana. What are your home remedies?
• I understand why very tall men may occasionally miss the mark in the bathroom. What is the short man’s excuse?
• I have heard that something like 90% of all household dust is dead human skin cells. Which means I empty the equivalent of an entire person from my vacuum each week. Is this legal?
• 3,000 square feet, crown molding, wood floors, and granite countertops. Why can’t we flush and shower at the same time?
• A local man was arrested recently for exercising naked in front of the window, of his home, across from the sorority house. He was a high school administrator. On how many levels is this wrong?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Image: robin_24, Flickr

Come Watch Funny Book Trailers With Me

Ever since I created my own book trailer for Blacklisted from the PTA, I’ve been collecting other funny book trailers. Frankly, we need more, because there are a lot of funny books out there, as well as a lot of really boring books that people could be tricked into buying if only they had a humorous–though deceitful–promotional strategy. So far I’ve found six, from Linda Yellin, Jenna McCarthy, Alan Arkin, Sarah Maizes, Maya Banks, and of course yours truly. We need more. Truly.

So, get a snack, check out my collection of funny book trailers page, and let me know when you come across worthy additions. (While you’re at it, bring me something, would you? I’m thinking something in a salty/sweet with magical ass fat burning properties.)

Check Out These Posts, Too, If You Want:

• 5 Books I’ve Resolved to Read in 2012
• Live From My Kitchen: Blacklisted Book Trailer
• How My Husband Got Kicked Off My Sales Force

 

Image: skypax pictures, Flickr

5 Books I’ve Resolved to Read in 2012

 

I’m not big on making New Year’s resolutions, per se. However, I love the whole out-with-the-old-and-in-with-the-new attitude. Of course there is the requisite dieting, but only because I don’t fit into a single pair of jeans. Instead of boring you with my oatmeal and egg white regimen, I thought I’d channel my self-improvement enthusiasm into a reading list.

Here are five books I’ll read in 2012:

40 Days to Personal Revolution by Baron Baptiste 

I read this one last January and tried to follow the 40-day “transformation” program that included daily yoga and meditation. Daily – that was the kicker.

Read the rest of this post on Modern Mom.

 

Random Bubbly:

• Parenting Trends, and My Too-Tight Sweater
• Girls Trip New York City Style
• Reflections of 2011, aka Holy Crap, I Did All That?

 

Image: macinate, Flickr

 

 

 

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