Stupid Things Teens Learn from Their Phones

When I noticed the dark brown wound on the back of my 13-year-old son’s hand, he explained that he had burnt himself with salt and ice. “I just wanted to see if it would work,” he said. “It didn’t even hurt.” When my shock turned to anger, he implicated his 11-year-old sister as an accomplice. I had apparently raised not one, but two, “gifted” children.

Why would honor students with no history of drug use or brain disorders maim themselves in the name of curiosity? They saw it on YouTube, naturally.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show Moms

Image: William Hook, Flickr

Helicopter Parenting and Crawler Helmets

Given the lengths so-called helicopter parents will go to protect their children, one would think an actual helicopter blade were hurtling toward their sheltered offspring. I suspect the stress caused by parents’ fears might harm kids more than the occasional stitch-worthy gash, or bump on the head.

Case in point: crawling helmets.

Seems some parents are so concerned about the rate at which their babies are ambling about the living room that they are purchasing crawling helmetsfor their high velocity tots.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show Moms.

Image: Theodore Scott, Flickr

Notes to Self: Tween Parties

Last night we hosted a going away party for the loveliest girl my daughter has known for the eight years we’ve lived in Arkansas. Through playdates, carpools, scary movies, late night runs for the border, hours on end of Facetime, and too many sleepovers to count, we have come to love her as our own. To send her off in style we invited a dozen of her closest friends to party like it was 1999. Okay, not really, because they don’t know that song, but you get the idea.

Some things I learned:

1. Red frosting is just as dangerous as red punch.

2. Dawn dishwashing soap really can get out any stain, including those that result from red frosting.

3. One should state on the invitations that one is feeding the children, so that one does not end up with four pepperoni pizzas left over the end of the night.

4. Twelve-year-olds still play duck-duck-goose. Or, that’s their story and they’re sticking with it.

5. Other moms know a lot more about the social lives of said 12-year-olds than I do. And that’s the way I like it.

6.Two 40-something moms should wait until “Young, Wild, and Free” has finished before “warming up the dance floor.”

7. If there are boys and soccer balls at the party, liability waivers might not be a bad idea.

8. The word sexy is overused in the tween demographic. Disconcertingly so.

9. Only hold parties in good weather.

10. Napkins, napkins, napkins.

 

My kids party philosophy has not changed since they were little, and it’s not so different that my adult party philosophy. Don’t overthink it. Don’t try to control it. Give them something to eat and drink and leave them alone. I may not be the best hostess, but I did hear the kids had a good time. In fact, more than one child gave the party in the highest compliment available to the developing tween mind.

They called it EPIC!

My work here is done. For now.

Image: Pink Sherbet Photography, Flickr

 

Podcast: Easter Bunny Blues

I cannot tell you hwo happy I am that the whole Easter Bunny thing is behind me. I still gather treats for my sweets, but no longer must I suffer the pressure of protecting their childhood rabbit fantasy. We are in a happier place now – me, my kids, and our 2-pound bags of chocolate.

The Case of the Easter Bunny

Can you relate? There’s more where that came from.

Order Blacklisted from the PTA in paperback or Kindle now.

Like This? Try These:

• Podcast: Got Hotel Rooms?
• Podcast: Does Sam’s Club Count as Date Night?
• Podcast: Holiday Baking Disaster

Audio: Lela Davidson

Image: jonfeinstein, Flickr

 

Fool Me Once… Whatever

My kids love to play pranks on April Fool’s Day. They also enjoy trying to play me for a fool every other day of the year, but I don’t take their lies seriously, and I don’t think you should either. Fool’s Day or no, if you live with a child of your own making, any of the following may be lies:

I’m not texting; I’m playing a game.

Of course the new puppy went #2.

Yes, I cleaned my bathroom/made my bed/fed the fish.

I have never traded my apple for chips and candy.

Taylor’s mom is going to be there the whole time.

Read the rest of this post on MSNBC TODAY Show Moms.

Image: Stef Thomas, Flickr

 

 

 

Calling for a Permission Slip Revolution

 

My son texted me the other day because he had forgotten a permission slip and the teacher needed my approval to let him to watch a film. It wasn’tSaving Private Ryan or An Inconvenient Truth or even sex education. It wasRoots. Naturally, I was confused because when I was his age, the mini-series aired during primetime, bumping Laverne & Shirley and Three’s Company,if I recall. Why the need for consent? It’s not like the teacher wanted to take my son to Africa, or even to a Confederate state. I texted back that he could watch the movie with my blessing.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show Moms.

Image: Erix!, Flickr

 

 

Welcome to the Age of the Cocktail Police

 

Pouring a drink is legal, healthy and perfectly acceptable adult behavior. (So long as you’re not a Baptist.) And yet, my 6th and 8th grader are increasingly on my case whenever they catch me with a corkscrew in hand. Maybe instead of inundating our children with the dangers of alcohol, we ought to be educating them about its proper and diverse uses, such as celebrating special occasions, getting through uncomfortable family gatherings, or because it is Tuesday.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show Moms.

Image: Sing Ming Lee, Flickr

Podcast: Got Hotel Rooms?

If you travel with your family for sporting events, Quiz Bowl competitions, or even family “vacation,” you may recognize the special brand of pain that is sharing a tiny little space with the people that you love the most. (Because loving them doesn’t mean you like them in close quarters, and uninterrupted.)

Meet Me at the Hotel Room

Can you relate? There’s more where that came from.

Order Blacklisted from the PTA in paperback or Kindle now.

Like This? Try These:

• Podcast: Does Sam’s Club Count as Date Night?
• Podcast: Holiday Baking Disaster

Audio: Lela Davidson

Image: Funky Tee: Flickr

Mother and Father, Thy Names Are Stoopid

Increasingly my children characterize my husband and I as the supporting idiots in their lives. Intellectually, I get it.

But it’s hard to transition from the gods they once thought us to be, into these obsolete fools they need us to become in order to fully become themselves. So senseless are we that we must be tolerated and – more often – corrected.

Recently my husband upgraded the operating system on his iPhone. I’d rather iron socks, but to him this passes for an enjoyable Sunday afternoon. The task inspired him to extol The Cloud any chance he got.

Read the rest of this post on Brooke Burke’s Modern Mom

 

 

Teens on Twitter, Believe It

While many parents are trying to keep up with Facebook’s ever-changing privacy policies, their kids are quietly taking their private conversations to Twitter. They are using multiple and anonymous accounts to communicate unobserved.

Teenagers are increasingly using Twitter because, according to my own teenage son, “Adults aren’t on it.” A survey conducted in July 2011 by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, which explores the impact of the internet on families and civic life, found that the number of 12- to 17-year olds on Twitter doubled from 2008 to 2010.

Escape from parental monitoring  isn’t the only thing driving teens to Twitter. When celebrities adopted the micro-blogging platform kids followed. One can only hope all of Justin Bieber’s 17 million+ followers are all teenagers.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show MOMS.

Image: Pink Sherbet Photography

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