Podcast: Got Hotel Rooms?
by Lela Davidson on March 8, 2012
in Rugrats, Tweens, & Other Offspring, Suburban Bliss
If you travel with your family for sporting events, Quiz Bowl competitions, or even family “vacation,” you may recognize the special brand of pain that is sharing a tiny little space with the people that you love the most. (Because loving them doesn’t mean you like them in close quarters, and uninterrupted.)
Meet Me at the Hotel Room
Can you relate? There’s more where that came from.
Order Blacklisted from the PTA in paperback or Kindle now.
Like This? Try These:
Audio: Lela Davidson
Neil Young: Anthem for Sad Old People
by Lela Davidson on March 7, 2012
in motherhood
Doesn’t this picture look exactly like a Neil Young song? Or, every Neil Young song?
And how do you not love The Godfather of Grunge? Well, turns out if you’re so young you think grunge is Old People Music, you have zero tolerance for Young.
The other day I was playing Prairie Wind in the car when my son got in.
Big dramatic sigh grunt, and then: “PLEASE turn off this Neil Old crap.”
I didn’t.
“When did you buy this CD anyway?”
“I dont’ know. A few years ago. Why?”
“How did you feel when you bought it?”
“Admit it, you love it.”
“Seriously, Mom, were you, like, depressed? Because this is like, suicidal. Or, were you just deaf.”
That was the day I realized I could keep him in line with a simple threat to blast Neil Young with the windows open. Boys are so easy.
Image: Oslo In the Summertime, Flickr
Crampy Sex, Male Aim, and Other Junk
by Lela Davidson on March 5, 2012
in It's All About Me
What do these things have in common? Not much, other than they have been on my mind lately.
- If you cramp up during sex, you may want to hydrate. And have a banana. What are your home remedies?
- I understand why very tall men may occasionally miss the mark in the bathroom. What is the short man’s excuse?
- I have heard that something like 90% of all household dust is dead human skin cells. Which means I empty the equivalent of an entire person from my vacuum each week. Is this legal?
- 3,000 square feet, crown molding, wood floors, and granite countertops. Why can’t we flush and shower at the same time?
- A local man was arrested recently for exercising naked in front of the window, of his home, across from the sorority house. He was a high school administrator. On how many levels is this wrong?
Talk amongst yourselves.
Still Got That Loving Feeling
by Lela Davidson on February 29, 2012
in After The Bubbly in Print, Marriage
It’s still February, and as long as my Valentine’s tea towels are out, we may as well celebrate the season, yes? Birds are chirping, trees are budding, and the effects of everyone’s New Year’s resolutions are starting to play out on their biceps and abs. Not that I would notice, on anyone other than my husband, because I’m so happily married. I am so romantic…
Here’s another lovely magazine that ran one of my favorites, “Top 10 Reasons to Date Your Spouse,” this month. I love this magazine, and not just because they serve Milwaukee, home to one of my personal heros, Laverne DeFazio.
Thank you, metroparent!
Give us any chance, we’ll take it.
Give us any rule, we’ll break it.
Image Credits: metroparent; Englishsnow, Flickr
Oh, Canada!
by Lela Davidson on February 29, 2012
in After The Bubbly in Print
This isn’t the first time my words have made their way north of the border. I’ve been published in Calgary and Toronto, too, but it always feels special to be accepted so close to home. Thank you, BC Parent! I also adore the image of three stair-stepped blonde girl children. 
Could Be Worse is the story of one of the many road trips our family took in the quest of the ever-elusive youth hockey trophy. It appears in the February issue of BC Parent, and in the 5-star rated Blacklisted from the PTA. Which makes a great Mother’s Day gift, for yourself ;)
Mother and Father, Thy Names Are Stoopid
by Lela Davidson on February 27, 2012
in motherhood, Rugrats, Tweens, & Other Offspring
Increasingly my children characterize my husband and I as the supporting idiots in their lives. Intellectually, I get it.
But it’s hard to transition from the gods they once thought us to be, into these obsolete fools they need us to become in order to fully become themselves. So senseless are we that we must be tolerated and – more often – corrected.
Recently my husband upgraded the operating system on his iPhone. I’d rather iron socks, but to him this passes for an enjoyable Sunday afternoon. The task inspired him to extol The Cloud any chance he got.
Read the rest of this post on Brooke Burke’s Modern Mom
Teens on Twitter, Believe It
by Lela Davidson on February 24, 2012
in Rugrats, Tweens, & Other Offspring
While many parents are trying to keep up with Facebook’s ever-changing privacy policies, their kids are quietly taking their private conversations to Twitter. They are using multiple and anonymous accounts to communicate unobserved.
Teenagers are increasingly using Twitter because, according to my own teenage son, “Adults aren’t on it.” A survey conducted in July 2011 by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, which explores the impact of the internet on families and civic life, found that the number of 12- to 17-year olds on Twitter doubled from 2008 to 2010.
Escape from parental monitoring isn’t the only thing driving teens to Twitter. When celebrities adopted the micro-blogging platform kids followed. One can only hope all of Justin Bieber’s 17 million+ followers are all teenagers.
Read the rest of this post on Today Show MOMS.
Image: Pink Sherbet Photography
Money Advice, Lightly Salted
by Lela Davidson on February 22, 2012
in writing
I just finished pitching some new ideas to Chicago Parent magazine, which I love, and it occurred to me I’ve appeared in that publication almost every month for over a year now. That’s a big deal. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the monthly Your Money piece, and look forward to doing so as long as they’ll have me. (Who said my accounting background was useless?)
I’ve written about everything from life insurance to teaching kids about credit cards while they’re young so they don’t run off and wreak plastic havoc on you later. So, if you’re in Chicago, please pick up a copy of the magazine, and buy advertising–lots and lots of full-page multi-month ads.
Image: John Althouse Cohen, Flickr
Everyone Needs a Kick in the Ass Sometimes
by Lela Davidson on February 20, 2012
in writing
Why do I love Christina Katz, and her persistent and occasionally painful ass kickery? (As captured in The Writer’s Workout, among other places.) Because she pushes me, hard. She reminds me of this aerobics teacher I used to have–my favorite one EVER, who weighed about a hundred pounds and jumped around her three-stack aerobic step like a cheerleader dating Charlie Sheen. Her classes were always packed, even though she was–or especially because she was–a bit of a tyrant.
During a particularly strenuous class she paused, glared into the mirror, and said into her Madonna mic, “Oh, I’m bitch, huh? But your ass sure looks good, doesn’t it?”
Just like my old aerobics teacher, Christina makes your ass look good.
Entertaining for Dummies
by Lela Davidson on February 16, 2012
in Suburban Bliss
I love to entertain. Rather, I love when people bring wine to my house. Sometimes that’s the end of it. I sneak off to the bathroom with a bottle opener and my husband feigns death until the guests leave. That’s on a good night. Usually I enter into some charade of hospitality wherein someone generally says, “You do realize you’re hosting this thing, right?”
Here’s the thing, having friends over should be fun, and friends don’t care if your dishes match or there are crumbs on the floor, or the mushrooms in your risotto grew on your picnic table. And if the people at your house aren’t friends, why in the name of Nigella did you invite them? Regardless, here are my rules for stress-free and easy entertaining that puts hosts and guests alike at ease.
1. Experiment with Recipes – Nothing brings friends together like a sharing a delicious meal, expertly prepared. Equally bonding: shared immediate onset food poisoning. (Think Bridesmaids.)
2. Put the Lazy Bastards to Work – People always get along on communes, right up until the asteroid is due. So always recruit someone to dress the salad and someone to mix the Koolaid.
3. Liquor, Booze, and Hooch – Seriously. People just get along better under the influence. And they think they’re funnier, which of course makes them funnier. And if your friends get ugly when they drink, buy them wife beater tanks and trucker hats. And get new friends.
Do you have entertaining tips? Let us know here, and then join the conversation over on BlogHer, where the other participating bloggers have likely posted advice that is actually helpful.
And be sure to enter to win a Kindle Fire while you’re there!
