Of Course I Cleaned My Room

by on May 17, 2012
in Suburban Bliss

Did you clean your room?
Yes.

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You made your bed?
Uh huh.

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And the closet?
Yes, Mom! Jeez.

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Podcast: Legend of My Ten-Pound Baby

 

For ten years I thought my daughter weighed ten pounds at birth. Oops.

The Legend of My Ten-Pound Baby

Did you enjoy? There’s more where that came from.

Order Blacklisted from the PTA in paperback or Kindle now.

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Audio: Lela Davidson

Image: D. Sharon Pruit, Pink Sherbet Photography, Flickr

April Showers Bring Spring Flowers

Wow, it’s been busy. I think I said that last month, and it’s even truer now. In fact, these recaps are an important way for me to keep track of what I’ve done and where I’m going. Some fun things that happened in April.

So, yes, it was a lot. And it was a LOT of fun.

Images: Megan Clemence Photography, Today.com

 

 

Stupid Things Teens Learn from Their Phones

When I noticed the dark brown wound on the back of my 13-year-old son’s hand, he explained that he had burnt himself with salt and ice. “I just wanted to see if it would work,” he said. “It didn’t even hurt.” When my shock turned to anger, he implicated his 11-year-old sister as an accomplice. I had apparently raised not one, but two, “gifted” children.

Why would honor students with no history of drug use or brain disorders maim themselves in the name of curiosity? They saw it on YouTube, naturally.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show Moms

Image: William Hook, Flickr

Helicopter Parenting and Crawler Helmets

Given the lengths so-called helicopter parents will go to protect their children, one would think an actual helicopter blade were hurtling toward their sheltered offspring. I suspect the stress caused by parents’ fears might harm kids more than the occasional stitch-worthy gash, or bump on the head.

Case in point: crawling helmets.

Seems some parents are so concerned about the rate at which their babies are ambling about the living room that they are purchasing crawling helmetsfor their high velocity tots.

Read the rest of this post on Today Show Moms.

Image: Theodore Scott, Flickr

My Wardrobe Secret: Let Others Choose



I hate shopping. Really, I do. Unless it’s for food or maybe during some odd phase of Jupiter circling the Moon of Target, I don’t enjoy it. Shopping for clothing is the worst, which is why I usually put it off until I have a very specific need. This accounts for the few sweaters in my closet that you might pry off my cold dead body sooner than convince me are past their prime. And yet… somehow I manage to look not terrible most of the time. I think.

My secret: Let others choose.

Getting dressed has become much more frustrating since my daughter turned about six and started telling me what was what. But I’m also getting better at it. I’m anticipating her reaction, and basing [some] of my wardrobe decisions on it.

But what’s better than a [now] tween daughter to help you get dressed? Very stylish friends.

I’ve been looking especially cute this spring thanks to some help from my business partners in Peekaboo Media Group. With minimal direction (no bare arms, don’t make me look short) they picked out several ensembles for a recent photo shoot. Even better: Dillard’s gave us a discout on anything from the shoot. I bought the key pieces, added a little mixing and matching with the help of my daugther, and set out for my most fashionable season ever. I think.

My secret is simple. It’s the same for clothing, wine, and entrees at dark restaurants with menus that have too-small font: Let others choose.

What makes you feel cute? Head over to Life Well Lived on BlogHer and join the conversation. There are prizes!

Notes to Self: Tween Parties

Last night we hosted a going away party for the loveliest girl my daughter has known for the eight years we’ve lived in Arkansas. Through playdates, carpools, scary movies, late night runs for the border, hours on end of Facetime, and too many sleepovers to count, we have come to love her as our own. To send her off in style we invited a dozen of her closest friends to party like it was 1999. Okay, not really, because they don’t know that song, but you get the idea.

Some things I learned:

1. Red frosting is just as dangerous as red punch.

2. Dawn dishwashing soap really can get out any stain, including those that result from red frosting.

3. One should state on the invitations that one is feeding the children, so that one does not end up with four pepperoni pizzas left over the end of the night.

4. Twelve-year-olds still play duck-duck-goose. Or, that’s their story and they’re sticking with it.

5. Other moms know a lot more about the social lives of said 12-year-olds than I do. And that’s the way I like it.

6.Two 40-something moms should wait until “Young, Wild, and Free” has finished before “warming up the dance floor.”

7. If there are boys and soccer balls at the party, liability waivers might not be a bad idea.

8. The word sexy is overused in the tween demographic. Disconcertingly so.

9. Only hold parties in good weather.

10. Napkins, napkins, napkins.

 

My kids party philosophy has not changed since they were little, and it’s not so different that my adult party philosophy. Don’t overthink it. Don’t try to control it. Give them something to eat and drink and leave them alone. I may not be the best hostess, but I did hear the kids had a good time. In fact, more than one child gave the party in the highest compliment available to the developing tween mind.

They called it EPIC!

My work here is done. For now.

Image: Pink Sherbet Photography, Flickr

 

Podcast: Easter Bunny Blues

I cannot tell you hwo happy I am that the whole Easter Bunny thing is behind me. I still gather treats for my sweets, but no longer must I suffer the pressure of protecting their childhood rabbit fantasy. We are in a happier place now – me, my kids, and our 2-pound bags of chocolate.

The Case of the Easter Bunny

Can you relate? There’s more where that came from.

Order Blacklisted from the PTA in paperback or Kindle now.

Like This? Try These:

Audio: Lela Davidson

Image: jonfeinstein, Flickr

 

March Madness & April Fun

It’s been a busy month here. Busier than usual, I think. Maybe it’s the weather. It’s hard to believe that we are through Spring Break and looking forward to summer. Today I spent the day on the lake, I slathered myself in sunscreen and spent the day eating salty snacks, drinking cheap beer, reading and sleeping – and it didn’t feel a day before June.

Austin Family: Kids and Credit: MyFoxAUSTIN.com

 

On Newsstands Now

“The Case of the Easter Bunny” in ParentsSource and Broward Family Life.

“Confessions of an Earth Mama Wannabe” in metroparent.

“Cyber-Bullying: 6 Strategies for Prevention and Damage Control” in Savvy Kids.

“When You Want to Run Away” in Houston Family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fool Me Once… Whatever

My kids love to play pranks on April Fool’s Day. They also enjoy trying to play me for a fool every other day of the year, but I don’t take their lies seriously, and I don’t think you should either. Fool’s Day or no, if you live with a child of your own making, any of the following may be lies:

I’m not texting; I’m playing a game.

Of course the new puppy went #2.

Yes, I cleaned my bathroom/made my bed/fed the fish.

I have never traded my apple for chips and candy.

Taylor’s mom is going to be there the whole time.

Read the rest of this post on MSNBC TODAY Show Moms.

Image: Stef Thomas, Flickr

 

 

 

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