Applying MBA Savvy to My Life

Many of my brilliant friends (and a few of the dull ones) are MBAs. They view the world differently than the rest of us–often in paradigms and matrices. Sometimes these contrived models of perception are even useful.

For example, some European genius came up this idea of order qualifiers and order winners. An order qualifier is a characteristic of a product or service that is required in order for the product/service to even be considered by a customer. An order winner is a characteristic that will win the bid or customer’s purchase. An order qualifier for a Big Mac is that it contain two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. An order winner would be if the kid at the counter serves it quickly and with a smile.

To my family, you could learn a thing or two.

Order Qualifiers – to clarify, these are the minimum things you need to do in order to avoid my wrath:

• Picking up your crap
• Not smelling bad
• Never whining
• Leaving me alone
• Cleaning your own bathroom

Order Winners – things that will get me to stock the pantry with your favorite foods:

• Addressing me as Gorgeous, or Mother Dearest
• Keeping the dog away from me
• Foregoing the clothes you ‘need’ so that I can get my face sanded down
• Making dinner – and keep it healthy, would you?
• Programming the universal remote so that I can use it to actually change channels AND adjust the volume

A little advice from me to you. Make of it what you will.

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